Friday, January 20, 2012
I suppose that maybe it is appropriate that I make my first post of the year in the middle of the night. I have had internet access since December 19th, but then it was the holidays and I was busy. A couple times I actually tried to post some things – but I had a really bad attitude, and maybe I still do in a way. I’ve been dying to write a scathing rebuttal to a series of posts one of my ex-friends has been writing about how women should behave and dress from the Word according to him. I think if he spent less time worrying about whether or not a women is wearing a t-shirt with words on it, or if she disagrees with anything he is teaching she is a Jezebel, and more time concentrating on the verse how a man that doesn’t take care of his own house is worse than an unbeliever. Because I think people don’t realize this series of teachings is coming from a man who has been jailed twice for failing to pay his alimony and child support. It’s just easier to make the woman the bad guy – she did eat the fruit first you know.
But then I realized that Love THINKS no EVIL! So this guy should be prayed for mightily, but girls, do not get sucked into his slanted teachings. I’m just warning you for your own good.
I’ve actually had some amazing trials since I’ve been gone. I lost some fair weather friends, among other things. Johnny and I broke up around Thanksgiving, although ironically he called me last night. Let’s see: Nov. Dec. Jan. Yep, it is now a fact that the boy can’t go more than three months without calling me. But as in everything in my life, the Lord was 100% involved in that situation and I’m not entirely convinced that man won’t show up on my front porch when his parole is up. That is also in the Lord’s hands and I learned a lot about unconditional love through out.
I’m going through a trial at the moment. One in which, as usual, I am waiting. The news I am waiting on could literally change my very life. I was talking to my mom on the phone and she said, “Remember, God is NEVER late.” Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I said, “Chapter and verse on that one. It doesn’t say anywhere that God is never late, that is just a tradition.” I have since thought about it over and over. Not only is God late, He is habitually late. He is so late, in fact, that He has made waiting for Him an active part of our relationship with Him.
Abraham was already an old man when God promised him a son. He had to wait TWENTY-FIVE YEARS before he saw that promise come to pass. 25 years is a disgustingly long time for anyone to wait. No wonder Abraham went about trying to get the promise to get here faster and ended up with an Ishmael. He got sick of waiting, and I mean sick in the literal sense. He and Sarah had literally given up hope that the promise was going to come. That is why Sarah laughed. They had waited so long that they probably figured that maybe that promise was somehow allegorical and not literal, because they were way too old now.
It is almost a standing joke here now, how I am waiting on the Lord. Even the fortune cookie at the Chinese restaurant the other night said, “Good things come to those who wait, Be Patient.” We all laughed, but there was a part of me that is afraid, that I will be an old woman before the things the Lord has promised me will come to pass. I had quite a rude awakening when I first realized that the Lord was late in my life, when I lost hope. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. That is so true. Maybe it is because I have a birthday coming up. 45 didn’t really seem so old, but 46! Eww.
The good thing is, now I know. The Lord is breaking the traditions I am holding in my mind and the idea of Him never being late is one of them. I guess it is better to know. One thing I do know, someday, all this will be behind us, He will wipe away every tear from our eyes and the former things will be passed away. Unfortunately for me, in this age of microwaves and Androids, of instant gratification, the waiting is killing me. All things work for good, and patience is part of the learning curve that makes us over-comers. I think at one point I told the Lord I was no longer interested in being an over-comer, but I don’t think that changed His mind.
So in the meantime, as always, I wait.
Lots of love and patience my friends!