Friday, January 20, 2012

The Tardy God

I suppose that maybe it is appropriate that I make my first post of the year in the middle of the night. I have had internet access since December 19th, but then it was the holidays and I was busy. A couple times I actually tried to post some things – but I had a really bad attitude, and maybe I still do in a way. I’ve been dying to write a scathing rebuttal to a series of posts one of my ex-friends has been writing about how women should behave and dress from the Word according to him. I think if he spent less time worrying about whether or not a women is wearing a t-shirt with words on it, or if she disagrees with anything he is teaching she is a Jezebel, and more time concentrating on the verse how a man that doesn’t take care of his own house is worse than an unbeliever. Because I think people don’t realize this series of teachings is coming from a man who has been jailed twice for failing to pay his alimony and child support. It’s just easier to make the woman the bad guy – she did eat the fruit first you know.

But then I realized that Love THINKS no EVIL! So this guy should be prayed for mightily, but girls, do not get sucked into his slanted teachings. I’m just warning you for your own good.

I’ve actually had some amazing trials since I’ve been gone. I lost some fair weather friends, among other things. Johnny and I broke up around Thanksgiving, although ironically he called me last night. Let’s see: Nov. Dec. Jan. Yep, it is now a fact that the boy can’t go more than three months without calling me. But as in everything in my life, the Lord was 100% involved in that situation and I’m not entirely convinced that man won’t show up on my front porch when his parole is up. That is also in the Lord’s hands and I learned a lot about unconditional love through out.

I’m going through a trial at the moment. One in which, as usual, I am waiting. The news I am waiting on could literally change my very life. I was talking to my mom on the phone and she said, “Remember, God is NEVER late.” Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I said, “Chapter and verse on that one. It doesn’t say anywhere that God is never late, that is just a tradition.” I have since thought about it over and over. Not only is God late, He is habitually late. He is so late, in fact, that He has made waiting for Him an active part of our relationship with Him.

Abraham was already an old man when God promised him a son. He had to wait TWENTY-FIVE YEARS before he saw that promise come to pass. 25 years is a disgustingly long time for anyone to wait. No wonder Abraham went about trying to get the promise to get here faster and ended up with an Ishmael. He got sick of waiting, and I mean sick in the literal sense. He and Sarah had literally given up hope that the promise was going to come. That is why Sarah laughed. They had waited so long that they probably figured that maybe that promise was somehow allegorical and not literal, because they were way too old now.

It is almost a standing joke here now, how I am waiting on the Lord. Even the fortune cookie at the Chinese restaurant the other night said, “Good things come to those who wait, Be Patient.” We all laughed, but there was a part of me that is afraid, that I will be an old woman before the things the Lord has promised me will come to pass. I had quite a rude awakening when I first realized that the Lord was late in my life, when I lost hope. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. That is so true. Maybe it is because I have a birthday coming up. 45 didn’t really seem so old, but 46! Eww.

The good thing is, now I know. The Lord is breaking the traditions I am holding in my mind and the idea of Him never being late is one of them. I guess it is better to know. One thing I do know, someday, all this will be behind us, He will wipe away every tear from our eyes and the former things will be passed away. Unfortunately for me, in this age of microwaves and Androids, of instant gratification, the waiting is killing me. All things work for good, and patience is part of the learning curve that makes us over-comers. I think at one point I told the Lord I was no longer interested in being an over-comer, but I don’t think that changed His mind.

So in the meantime, as always, I wait.

Lots of love and patience my friends!


Ma said...

So glad to see you back.

What a gorgeous photo. I'm so sorry to hear about Johnny.

About God being late. I was just listening to a sermon a couple of days ago where the guy said that Jesus took his time...a lot. So much so that Lazarus died. But on the way to see him He did some other amazing things and met other people that needed Him. Lazarus was taken care of, too, even after all hope was gone. God IS late...I love it.

wendyworn said...

Thanks Ma! And thanks for sticking around. I needed a bit of a break from blogging. I don't suppose you have a link to that sermon? Have you ever noticed that really patient people take their time with others? I think it is a part of love. Yeah, God is late - who knew? But you are right, he is accomplishing other things in the interim, one of which is forming Christ in us - and it takes the time it takes. It is what it is.
lots of love!

musemater said...

So glad to see you are still hanging in there! I just knew you were growing in Christ like a flower bulb gathering strength from His nourishing care.

I like that, "God is late." It makes so much more sense than the old saying that He isn't! What a freedom to know! You are a blessing to me today, keep on keeping on!:)

Ma said...

It may take me a few days, but I'll track it down:)

Carolina said...

Hey dahling, It's been a while. I'm sorry to hear about the breakup. That can suck the very life out of you... IT is so extremely painful. I really feel for you and hope that your heart is feeling a little better as time goes. I don't know what exactly it is your waiting for, but I feel for you as well. I was there too, my whole life it seems, and I hated it. Now, however, I am not waiting for anything. I'm just going with the flow of whatever God wants. How do we know what God wants? You may ask. Well, many times we don't know, but we just do the best we can. I've changed so much. So much has happened... So many dreams I used to have I've forgotten about and don't even want anymore. I remember one of my greatest dreams was to find love, true love with a man. Now I have accepted and am very happy to imagine myself single for the rest of my life. I don't see things the same way anymore. All my friends think I'm nuts or in denial, but I am not at all. I'm actually really happy, and shocked at the same time. I remember how I used to feel, I remember how I used to long for a relationship that was good and a man that was good. Now I can't imagine a man ever being able to give me anything, because I no longer need anything. There isn't anything I can think of or feel that a man could possibly give me. It's weird. Anyways, this is nor here or there. I guess what I'm trying to say is that eventually the waiting will cease. I never in a million years thought I would ever feel this way. I guess some call it surrender. Anyways, sorry to blab. Love you my friend, through the miles and miles, though I hardly know you.

wendyworn said...

Carolina - thanks so much for your comment and encouragement. You are not blabbing! It may be that I will finally stop waiting and be at peace in my life. I guess we shall see. God bless you!

lots of love!

Sara Skinner said...

Linda, thank you so much for sharing your struggles. It means a lot to know that you are seeking God through it all! I was single until I was 30, and I am very thankful I waited for the right person. Marriage is very difficult, even when married to God's man! Tim and I both hope we never forget what it's like to be single, so we can encourage our single friends to keep on for Him! A book I love, perhaps it's one you've heard about, is Stay In the Castle. I have some more resources for single people on my blog. Thank you so much! :)

wendyworn said...

Thanks Sara! I have been so very busy that I have not had time again to blog. Will try soon. I will look into that Stay in the Castle. thanks again!

yolanda said...

Hey girl , good to hear from you. I just have one question are we waiting for God to do things in our lives that we want or is God waiting on us to do away with our childish behaviors so He can bring about the work in us that He has set from the begining.Just a thought I have been dealing with for a long time.
I had all the things I thought i had every wanted and lost it all. So over the last few years i have had to search my heart to see who i was and how did my desires line up with his. We were bought with a very special price and we no longer belong to ourselves.
Still praying for all us on our journey back home.

wendyworn said...

I think maturity comes when we realize that we stop waiting for God to give us what we "think" we want and want what His will is for our lives. I struggle with it too - even now.
thanks for your comments and prayers!

Ma said...

Hi Linda,

Still trying to find the sermon:)

Kim said...

I like Yolanda's response, and I think you should count it for good that 1) you ARE waiting and 2) that He is lates. If we took more time making major, life-changing decisions, I think we'd do them all differently and they would turn out better. God knows when to be late and when to be right on the minute and don't you doubt it! Think of all the times he showed up at EXACTLY the right moment!

Glad you are well and "back" in the blogging seat. I've thought about you often!


wendyworn said...

Don't worry about it, I am so massively busy that I doubt I would have time to listen. Thanks anyway!

Susan said...

Hi Linda,

Found your blog through Ma's link, and I agree that God seems to take a long time...but when you compare it to eternity it isn't that long at all, is it? LoL.

Anyway, I think we must look like little children look to mommies and daddies, you know the ones that keep asking "are we THERE yet??????" Even when God is late (it only seems that way to us, I think) He truly is right on time, because His ways are so different from our ways, and what seems wrong to us, can often actually be right.

Often when I see something "my" way and muse over it for a while, and then ask God to help me with it, I often am shown that I'm looking at it backwards...oh this fallen world and the mental problems it causes. Sigh.

wendyworn said...

I agree!