When I was a baby Christian I had a list of things I wanted in life. The first two were:
1.) Lose weight
2.) Find a good husband
Well, here it is, 20 years later and those two things are still on the top of the list but now I am 70 pounds heavier than when I first wrote those goals down.
This year I have tried 3 different diets each one completely different from the other. One was a low-carb, high fat, high protein diet so I cleared all the bread and cereal and peanut butter out of my house. But I could not reach ketosis for one reason or another and just could not sustain the restrictions. So I switched to a low-fat diet that used points. I had to constantly be thinking about what I was eating and planning meals and keeping track of everything but I was annoyed at some of the point’s values for some things. 2 crackers were 4 points and 2 tablespoons of peanut butter was 5 points. Next was another diet based on diabetic exchanges. Again fail.
Well, I started to consider why I kept failing from a spiritual point of view. Like anything in life that could be considered a giant – I sought the Lord for why I have had no success in losing weight.
I started with the scriptures. I pondered the reason that Jesus said, “Give no thought for tomorrow – what you would eat, what you would drink and what you would put on.” I began to see that my constant dieting was making me fat. I decided that I needed to put a stop to all the planning, all the weighing and measuring and guilt and condemnation and the daily routine of standing on the scale and seeing no results or worse – the slow creep up. To remind myself that there is a spiritual reason we are not to be constantly thinking about this stuff.
But I really began to see - like the above verses – that I would never be thin until I stopped seeing the fat in others, a very bad habit that I did not even realize that I had. Don’t get me wrong – I realize that those verses are talking about spiritual matters and I get that – but I also know that sometimes these things still apply in the physical realm. I realized that my obsession with my weight translated into an obsession with the weight of others. Just as I hate the fat in myself – I hated the fat in others and it was usually the first thing I noticed about them. I suppose part of it is our culture and the way we equate beauty with being skinny, which is unfortunate, but that does not excuse my part in it. We are to love our neighbors as ourselves. I needed to stop hating fat and stop hating my body.
So these were exactly the things I was agonizing over in my mind when I went to hear Clyde Pilkington and Martin Zender and Sean Marting teach in Colorado Springs. The very first teaching – given by Clyde – was a reminder that the Lord created us just the way we are. That we are flawed by design – and reminded us of the verses in Jeremiah when he went down to the potter’s house and made something on the wheel and then marred it in his hands and then made a new vessel. I realized that I am fat by design. I always suspected that it was God’s will for me to be fat because God knows how boy-crazy I am and if I was skinny and cute I would not be able to resist the attention I would get. I felt that my fat was somehow armor – protecting me from carnal men. But as I sat in the conference I thought, Oh my God! What if it is God’s will that I will always be fat? That I reach 400lbs? World record fat lady!? I couldn’t shake the idea and I started to cry.
There were some women that talked to me at the break and they really helped me to feel better.
The next teaching was from Martin Zender. He taught that the first three verbs in Genesis set the pattern for all things. The first one is Created. God Created the earth and it was very good. The next one is became. The earth became without form and void. Yes, I know that some people try to say that Satan came down and ruined it. I say, scriptures don’t say that – that is just a tradition. Since the potter is the one who mars the clay – most likely it was God that caused it to be without form and void. The third verb was moved. (Actually Martin called it vibrated instead of moved, which was very intriguing to me.) God moved and made it a better earth. Martin taught that it was the pattern throughout. Joseph gets the vision of ruling over his brothers – then he gets sold into slavery, wrongly accused of rape, spent some time in prison etc. then finally raised up. Abraham, Moses, Jesus, us. It is the same in any story written. First the introduction of characters – then horrible stuff happens to them – then they overcome in the end.
Then Clyde taught on our freedom in Christ. Our liberty! He talked about how Paul talked on two specific subjects to re-iterate our freedom; eating and respect of a holy day. As children of God – we have been given freedom from ALL bondage by Christ. He used an example of a city dog on a chain always straining to be loosed and when he finally gets free he runs all over the place. But a country dog – you can’t get him off the porch – he has the freedom to go where ever he wants but he just hangs around in one spot. It is the bondage that makes us do the things we would not do. The minute you say, don’t think about monkeys – that is all you can think of.
Ironically in Romans 14 – he that is STRONG in “the faith” (that faith that we have been freed from all bondage) believes he can eat ALL things – but he that is weak in the faith – eats salads. Oh. My. God. Really? Was it really that simple? I realized that being Fat was bondage – but the world’s solution to being fat – dieting and exercise – was ALSO bondage. But I am made free by Jesus Christ. So like anything else – I must put it in the Lord’s hands.
Just like when the Lord told me to quit my job (have no income) and learn to trust that He would meet all my needs – the Lord is telling me to stop dieting and let Him be in charge of my body – Trust Him to deliver me on whether I will lose weight or not because the Lord LOVES a good paradox. He that loses his life shall find it and he who eats shall become skinny. Nothing is impossible with God.
Lots of love
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
In preparation of the coming Zombie Apocalypse, it is important that I know how to move and how to see my surroundings – especially behind me. Having never held an X-box controller before I found the task more daunting than I would have thought. My friend assured me that it takes some getting used to. “It is all about finesse,” he said, “keep your thumbs on these two buttons at all times. The left one moves your legs and the right one lets you look around.” We were eating pizza and having fun. It was a nice distraction from real life for just a moment. Because in truth, there are worse things than zombies.
My refusal to jump into the middle of a tug of war over a little girl has had far reaching ramifications. Before this week, even long before I came to Wyoming, the Lord told me to stay out of this thing. All along I have told both parties that I would not be on either side, but as emotions run high and this thing is beginning to come to a crescendo – they each want me to come in on their side and choose – who would be the better parent. So then one party decides to lie, alleging that I said, so and so, and the other party wants me to call the lawyer and dispute it. But I know, once I talk to a lawyer for whatever reason – then I’m involved and someone is going to get hurt. There are those that think that family loyalty dictates I should hurt the other party, but I need to obey God, rather than man.
Unfortunately for me, my refusal to take part was seen by the 2nd party as an automatic support for the first. Thus began the name calling and the guilt and shaming tactics. People who said over and over how much they love me, turned on a dime to now hate me. Even my aunt here in Wyoming, who really should have stayed out of it – entered the dispute against me. When I reminded her that this was the spirit of God in me telling me to stay out – she replied, “I don’t believe it is the spirit of God – I think it is just Linda.” That hurt.
But the Lord is my shield and buckler. He wrapped my heart in bubble wrap and all the name calling and fiery darts were not allowed to penetrate. He protected me from the devastation and hurt that this kind of situation would once have caused me. I also thanked him for the education. These people only loved me conditionally, only if I bend to their will – and in the long run, it is better to know.
So I prayed for these people, saying, “Lord, forgive them because they know not what they do.”
Good luck to those of you who are out there, where shooting zombies is a better alternative than what is going on in your life. Good hunting.
love and zombies,
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Well, I was unable to go to the Sacramento conference I wrote about last time, but then thankfully - there is one being held in Colorado Springs, which I am planning on driving down for. here are the details:
June 1, 2012
As promised, here are the final details for the June 2012 Colorado Scripture Conference. So far, we've had RSVPs from people in Colorado, Texas, Wyoming, and Indiana. We are so excited to meet you!
In addition, we have added a third speaker, to include Martin Zender, Sean Marting, and Clyde Pilkington, Jr. All three of them will bring messages from Scripture to inspire, comfort, and bless you.
We will have dinner and fellowship at the home of Kurt and Rita Hufford, from 5:30 to 8 p.m., on Friday evening, June 22, 2012. If you plan to attend this dinner, please, e-mail Rita at firstname.lastname@example.org for the Hufford's home address and directions.
On Saturday, June 23, we will have meetings from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., at a facility co-located at Lewis-Palmer High School, 1300 Higby Road, Monument, CO 80132 (with a view of world-famous, 14,110-foot Pikes Peak, America's mountain).
(From I-25, north of Colorado Springs, take the Baptist Rd. exit, go east (right), and take the first left at the light onto Jackson Creek Pkwy. Go 1.8 miles, then turn right at the light, across the street from the YMCA. Enter the parking lot to Lewis-Palmer High School, and follow the parking lot toward the right, to the modular building on the southwest side of the school with a sign: Tri-Lakes Senior Citizens Center. Note: When using MapQuest, Google Maps, or cell-phone navigators, use the address or the name of the high school, as the senior center will not show up on navigators.)
Coffee, tea, and snacks will be provided during the meetings. During meal breaks, most people head to nearby restaurants, such as Willow Tree Café, Chili's Grill and Bar, Rodolfo's Mexican Grill (fast food), 3 Margaritas (sit-down dining), Jasmine Garden Chinese, Rosie's Diner, Subway, McDonald's, Taco Bell, Arby's or pack your meals and picnic on the school grounds or in the senior center.
Nearby there are several coffee/tea places, such as Starbucks, It's a Grind, Wesley Owens and Serrano's. There's also a Natural Grocers/Vitamin Cottage close by in Monument.
Breaks for lunch and dinner on Saturday will be from noon to 1:30 p.m. and 5 to 6:30 p.m. A break for lunch on Sunday will be from noon to 1:30 p.m.
On Sunday, June 24, we will have meetings from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. at same location: Lewis-Palmer High School/ Tri-Lakes Senior Center. Although the meetings will end at 3 p.m. (for the sake of out-of-state attendees who must get back to work on Monday), we will have fellowship and hang-out time at the Hufford's home (6 miles away), from 3 to 6 p.m. There will be ping pong, air hockey, foosball, horseshoes, croquet, bocce ball, snacks, and lots of friendly people.
Some nearby motels include:
Sundance Mountain Lodge, 1865 Woodmoor Drive, Monument, CO 80132
Phone: 719.481.6000. A rustic, Colorado-owned lodge.
Fairfield Inn and Suites, 15275 Struthers Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80921
Phone: 719.488.4644. A chain hotel, built a couple of years ago.
There are also numerous motels in north Colorado Springs, about 10 miles away, including:
The Academy Hotel, 8110 N. Academy Blvd. Colorado Springs, CO, 80920.
Phone: 719.598.5770. Newly renovated, full-service hotel, close to restaurants and shopping.http://theacademyhotel.com/
At the conference, free R.V. parking will be available (at the Hufford's house).
If you will have special needs during the conference, please, e-mail Rita Hufford, at email@example.com or call her cell phone at 719.235.3570.
Please, reply to this e-mail to RSVP.
We hope and pray to meet many of you, face-to-face.
God bless you all!
Grace and peace,
Rebecca, Martin, Rita, and the Colorado ecclesia
I've already requested June 22nd off so I am planning on driving down to attend and then driving back on Sunday. I am really excited. I have never been in Colorado except for Denver airport which doesnt count. So if you are really interested in going, you can email firstname.lastname@example.org to RSVP. Hope to see you there!
lots of love!