Thursday, March 22, 2018
i don't know what to say. There had been so much that I could comment on. Have I gotten sucked back into politics? Yes. Have I looked into Mandela effect. Yes. Is the earth flat? I don't know but it is not a spinning globe. After that we can't know because they are hiding the truth. Everything we were taught as kids and everything we KNEW as truth is a lie. Everything. Who are they you ask? My mom asked me the same thing. I said, the people that are working toward the evil agenda. I could name names, but you already know who they are. Even if you name names it doesn't matter because we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against principality's and powers and spiritual wickedness on high. Now, there is the Transgenda. Its come into my family. My very very innocent niece who went to college right out of high school. A niece who had never had a boyfriend before. A niece who had absolutely no discernment so when a female to male tranny targeted her and started a relationship with her, she only saw this as a boy. Her mom, my sister could have took me aside and told me the truth. For 8 months this realtionship was going on. But she didn't. she said when confronted, "I'm ok with it.". Really? you are okay with a sexual pretator preying on your very innocent 17 year old daughter. Needless to say, when I told my brother in law that he should protect his daughter by pulling her out of that school, I have not been to a family gathering since. I am sick and tired of having the transgenda shoved down my throat and I will not tolerate it at Christmas and Thanksgiving either. I am beginning to hate this place.
Monday, February 13, 2017
Monday, August 15, 2016
So I know it has been a long time since I wrote on my blog. This is the first blog post that I have made in 2016. Part of the reason I haven’t posted anything is because I am concerned with privacy. I’m not on Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest or any other website where people literally spew all their personal information out there to be torn apart, commented on, and frankly, spied on.
Things have been happening in the world that do not make any sense. Every day there is some new and horrible thing happening in the world that defies any kind of explanation. Terrorism, mass shootings, racial riots, etc. etc. etc.
I posted about the Berenstein Bear, Berenstain Bear situation a while back. I had people who emailed me freaking out when the actual books in their closets were changed, from what they remembered. I could write off the fact that it was “Interview with A vampire” and “Sex IN the City” and if you were to look those things up you will see that they are NOW changed to “Interview with THE vampire” and “Sex AND the City” but it really doesn’t matter.
I understood then, that they had the ability now to change the words in the books. When I talked to my mom about it she asked me who “they” were. I said, the people who are doing this, I don’t KNOW who they are. But someone is doing it, and it really sucks that they can manipulate reality the way they do. Whoever they are.
Because they ARE changing the words in the books. I was keeping certain books, because I was concerned there was an agenda to dumb us down and take away the libraries and books and thus our ability to have knowledge, whatever that knowledge might be. But if they can change the words in the books in our closets, then there is no point in keeping any books in order to preserve knowledge.
Which brings me to the saddest point of all. They are changing the words in the Bible. Isaiah 11:6 used to say that the lion laid down with the lamb. Remember when the lion would lay down with the lamb. I know I’m not the only one who remembers that because I know people who remember that. In fact, what is ironic is, I was listening to a podcast from Ruzz Dizdar who I normally don’t even listen to because I feel, although he has a very successful deliverance ministry, he gives too much glorification to what the demonic entities are saying (lying about). Anyway, I heard him say from memory that the lion laid down with the lamb. Poor guy. He doesn’t know that they have changed the words in the King James Bible. Now Isaiah 11:6 says that the wolf will dwell with the lamb. The wolf huh? That sucks. When did the wolf ever dwell with the lamb? In fact, at one point Jesus warned about wolves in sheep’s clothing. Look it up for yourself. You will not find the lion lying down with the lamb anywhere. How are they able to do that? I don’t know. Time travel? Sorcery? The bible used to say that times, time and the DIVIDING OF TIME would be given into the hand of the adversary. It still just means that I do not know how they are doing it, just that they are.
The sad thing is there are so many Christians that BELIEVE that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God that they will justify to themselves and others that it was always the wolf that dwelt with the lamb. Because it is inconceivable that Satan could mess with the “Word” (as in the bible). Except that, the idea that the bible was the “word of God” is actually part of the deception that we have been subjected too for as long as we can remember. I always believed it, and if I hadn’t studied for the last 7 years and repeatedly read the book of Isaiah myself I wouldn’t have believed it.
Because I KNOW that the lion laid down with the lamb and a little child would lead them because I read it many times before they changed it. Even so, God had me one step ahead. I was already beginning to understand that the Word of God was not the Bible. The word of God was made flesh and dwelt among us. Christ. And then it was Christ IN you the hope of glory. Jesus said that the kingdom of God was within you. First they gave us the fake word, and then they took it away. But they cannot take the true Word of God out of our hearts. They can change the words in the books in the material world, but they CANNOT take the Word out of our hearts. We are children of the Most High God, created in HIS image. They can lie, deceive and manipulate reality, but they cannot take the truth away from us. Remember that, when you are pulled before kings and authorities to stand up for the truth. The truth is: you were created in the image of God and are a child of God and God loves you.
Remember also, that the adversary has already lost. The only reason he is allowed to continue is that God is patient and is waiting for those of us born into this time to come into His kingdom. What does the future hold? I do not know. But I remember that God made promises. There will be a day when all the tears will be wiped away and there will be no more pain. Moreover, there will be a day when we will look upon the adversary and say, was this the guy that so screwed us over and lied to us from the day we were born? (I’m paraphrasing).
There is still the “Word” that we can stand on. We are children of the most High God, created in His image. The kingdom of God is within us and that cannot be stolen. Realize who you are and they cannot stand against you. Love God, Love yourself and Love your neighbor.
I love you guys
Thursday, December 10, 2015
When my grandfather died 2 years ago, my grandmother found herself alone for the first time in 75 years. She discovered that she did not like being alone, she couldn't bear it in fact. My parents and sister and I flew out to Wyoming for the funeral and my mom asked my grandmother to come back to Oregon and live with them. I was actually against the idea because I thought it would be very hard on my grandmother to leave all her friends and family and move far away. But she said yes and they packed up a few of her belongings and brought her home to Oregon.
My grandmother loved her life in Oregon. There is a big picture window off the dining room where my parents have a couple of bird feeders. My grandmother delighted in watching the birds and there is a couple of big fat squirrels that steal the bird food and she loved to watch them too. She loved how green everything in Oregon was and all the flowers. She always appreciated the little joys in life. She used to say, "It's a good life if you don't weaken!" I loved it when she said that and she said it often. She may have been the strongest person I've ever met. She loved God and loved life and was the kindest, sweetest person.
My grandmother was 97. She was blessed in that she wasn't sick, and she could still bathe herself and feed her self and get around on her own, although she did have a walker. She was a tiny woman, not quite 4 feet, (I suspect there was some dwarfism in our past since my great-grandmother was shorter that her.) She was always impeccably dressed with jewelry on and she had two wigs. One for daily wear and one for special occasions.
She was a hard worker and believed in "earning her keep." So my mother found things for her to do. She would do the dishes and empty the dishwasher. She loved to fold the clothes and no-one could fold a towel as perfectly as my grandma. Once I had brought our clothes over to wash while I visited and as I was folding them my grandma stood next to me with her walker and gave me a dirty look (extremely unusual!). Then I realized why and said, "Grandma! These are my clothes, I'm not horning in on your laundry duties" She laughed, and so did I. I teased her later about arm wrestling her for the dinner dishes. She folded the paper napkins for the dinner table and mom used to have her chop walnuts. One time I asked her if they are actually eating those walnuts or was mom just making busy work for her. She laughed and said that no, they eat the walnuts in their oatmeal.
My husband and I moved in with my parents after his sister committed suicide. We are only planning on staying through the winter because we have some work that needs to be done on the RV. So the five of us would have dinner together and it was nice. She had a pillow that she sat on at her place and it was a joy to be able to visit with her. I started doing the dinner dishes because we use a lot of pots and pans, but she still took care of the dishes from breakfast and lunch.
A couple of weeks ago, my mom came down to our bedroom to wake us up and tell us that the paramedics were there. Grandma had fallen out of bed and the EMT said they thought her heart was shutting down. They had to use a bag to carry my grandma down all the stairs to the stretcher in the driveway and take her to the hospital. She died that night.
My mother has taken it pretty hard and I'm glad that we were there so that the vacuum left by grandma's absence was not as severe as it might have been. She was a beautiful woman, inside and out. We had a nice funeral for her and then her body was shipped back to Wyoming where she will be laid to rest next to her husband. We will miss you grandma. I want to be like you when I grow up.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
My sister in law, my husbands only sibling, killed herself a couple of weeks ago. They were very close. I wrote a three page blog post about it, talking about the background that led up to it, my interpretation of the situation, and the mess that was left in the wake of it. It was very therapeutic for me to write it, but I have decided not to post it. It doesn't really matter what happened before or my interpretation of it. None of that really explains anything anyway.
They say that there are 5 stages of grief/loss/death. With suicide, denial and bargaining are automatically off the table. There is no denying it - it's done and it's permanent. Bargaining - no amount of bargaining will change anything or bring her back. Which leaves anger. Oh yeah, I've been very angry the last couple weeks. This situation devastated my husband. We had to move because the idea of her never coming over for dinner again was more than my husband could take. I was angry with her before this happened as I watched the downward spiral train-wreck that was her life play out before my eyes and there was nothing I could say or do to change anything. I was even more angry with her after the fact because she knew my husband would be the one to find her and that was not a deterrent. I was angry about several other things that I'm not going to go into here. When I wasn't angry, I felt nothing. Not one thing. Not sympathy, not empathy, not any of the feelings you would normally think you should feel. I actually thought at one point that maybe my conscious was seared with a hot iron, that I was physically incapable of feeling anything about her. Anger or nothing - that is what I felt.
Yesterday was the first time I felt sad. Really, really sad. I was sad for my husband, I was sad for her and I was sad for myself and I've cried about it several times since. The next stage on the list is depression. Depression is such a stupid word I don't know why they use it on the list because it really is not accurate. Depression is a blanket medical term that could be any number of things. The true words should be sadness and regret. Depression, whatever, I mean I'm not depressed. I'm sad and I have feelings of guilt and regret, why isn't it okay to just call it what it really is? Grief. Mourning, loss, devastation, anything but depression. I guess there is no point in getting hung up on semantics - yet that word really does bug me. But I believe that you cannot get to the final stage until you first have a really really good cry. Or possibly more than one.
The final stage is acceptance. I'm not quite sure if I am there yet. We have plans for sometime next week to go to her grave for the first time and put some nice plastic flowers there. That is what my husband wants and I will support him in what he needs for his 5 stages of grief. Acceptance or no, we both agree, that what she did is NOT okay. It's not okay and it will never BE okay. But that doesn't stop us from still loving her and missing her, and going on with our lives.