Tuesday, February 7, 2012

If Solomon had an X-Box


I've been thinking a lot about Solomon. The guy was clearly a sex addict. You can't have 700 wives and 300 concubines and not be getting it more than once a day. Physically it would seem impossible. If you think of all those women harping at him day and night, well, it's no surprise he gave in to them in the end. Why do you suppose he loved all those women? I mean, come on! 1000! I think the man was just trying to distract himself from knowing the truth. That ALL is vanity.

It's 3am and it is my birthday. Today I turn 46. I have not been posting on this blog very much lately, because frankly, I don't have anything profound to write about. I think you should read the latest post from Jacob Israel over at Jacob's ladder:

We will Overcome

That guy has a lot of insight and it is really a great post, but he describes why I have not been posting to a tee. There has been no inspiration for me to write. I have been wrestling with my own experiences and most of what the Lord may be accomplishing in my life is very personal and not something I want to post about and open myself up to criticisms and comments from perfect strangers.

I have had some serious mental and physical trials. Mammogram. 2nd Mammogram. Ultrasound. Ultrasound guided biopsy. Surgical consult. Turns out I do not have cancer, but I do have atypical hyperplasia which is just a technical term for an unusual growth in my breast and women who have this kind of thing are 4 to 5 times more likely to develop breast cancer. The weird thing was - I did not feel any relief when I heard the news, because I wasn't afraid. A part of me would have welcomed death and I'm sorry that bothers people for me to say that. I want out already. Because whether I live or whether I die, it is up to the Lord and He is in control. There is not even any point to asking why anymore. It is what it is and the Lord will accomplish His will.

7 months ago I was trying to decide which of my favorite clothes I needed to get rid of so that I could pack all of my possessions into one suitcase. Today, the clothes I have in my closet would put those old ratty sweaters to shame. I have an amazing wardrobe and beautiful shiny shoes because that is the kind of clothes that are required for my job. I have an extremely powerful and prestigious position at work. I work almost 10 hours a day and come home to an empty house. My cousin, who works at the same place and is also a strong Christian, teases me and says with her arms stretched out, "what?! You are living the dream!" Yeah, living the dream in Babylon. Yet, without a doubt, this is where the Lord has placed me.

I wondered why the Lord would have me go back to work in the secular realm and what is more, give me such an amazing job. He is beginning to show me that I will be here for a while - possibly as long as ten years or maybe even retire here. I do believe that He wants me to actually go back to school and get my bachelor's degree and possibly even my master’s degree because my job will pay for my education. But I would not be ready to start school this fall, possibly the year after. Maybe it is because I truly know that work and prestige and money and clothes - all mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. Spiritually, it is all vanity and emptiness.

So I was very confused on why the Lord would have me go on an amazing journey out into the wilderness just to have me seemingly go back to the life I left. The point is - the wilderness is not a destination. Just as Jesus did not stay on the cross. It is part of the process - but it not the end of the matter. The Lord has placed me in a place where I witness greed, hypocrisy and spiritual wickedness in high places, on a daily basis. Jesus said that it was almost impossible for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God, and the Lord is beginning to show me that rich men need prayer and the Lord far more than your homeless man on the street, who knows he needs God. I am in a position to pray for those in power - those that cannot see their need for a savior. Those that cannot see that their greed and their riches and their prestige and stays at the Ritz-Carlton are all meaningless. All is vanity.

I guess there is a part of me, that just wants to play my game, and not think about anything, and even that is part of the process, because it makes the waiting more tolerable. I think that if Solomon had had an X-box, he might not have had so many wives. He would have been able to distract himself from the fact that nothing in this world matters. That all is vanity and then you die.

probably shouldn't post this - please try to understand that I'm just being honest and I really don't want a pep talk. I'm sure I'll understand more on why I am here later, but for now, living the dream in Babylon is far from being easy.
take care out there -
Linda

17 comments:

Ma said...

I really enjoyed this, and the link you posted as well. Mind if I excerpt and post some of this with a link of course in the near future?

rsctt603 said...

I have always wondered..lol

www.wayfarersquest-rsctt.blogspot.com

www.wayfarersquest.com

wendyworn said...

If you would like to repost from this in the future you can Ma. Have a great day!

Ma said...

Thanks Linda....

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

wendyworn said...

aww! Thanks!

Kim said...

No pep talk here...it IS all vanity. I agree wholeheartedly.

Kim

wendyworn said...

Kim!
It really is all vanity - especially to be back in the corporate world again to see the massive greed and the double standard up close and personal. But I'm beginning to see that the Lord is no respector of persons and the rich and powerful need prayer and to hear about the Lord maybe even more than we think. Ironic that I was willing to give up furniture and clothes and thousands of dollars worth of video games and I am getting it all back doubled. There are open doors to talk about the Lord even to high level executives. It is a mighty strange journey we are on.
many blessings in Christ!
Linda

Ma said...

Ironic that I was willing to give up furniture and clothes and thousands of dollars worth of video games and I am getting it all back doubled

That is so cool! And just what He says will happen.

And it IS a strange journey, with criss crossing paths that are never an "accident" I'm finding out.

wendyworn said...

Yeah, it is cool and I am very surprised by how much I fit in this town, but Ma, it is really people like you - that truly understand the mental dilemma that is caused when you discover the truth, that all will be saved and that being legalistic actually prevents you from seeing it. thanks for your encouragement!
lots of love!
LInda

Petra said...

"The point is - the wilderness is not a destination. Just as Jesus did not stay on the cross." I might have to use this again and again for good measure! :-) Visiting from Ma's blog.

wendyworn said...

thanks for commenting Petra!

Susan said...

"....that all will be saved and that being legalistic actually prevents you from seeing it."

Does that mean you are a "Universalist"? Do you think there is/(will be) no hell?...just asking... :)

wendyworn said...

I'm not going to label myself, but, Clyde Pilkerton Jr. recently stated in an email that God was adamantly opposed to people in the Old Testament burning their children in the fire to Moloch. Why would He turn around and do it to His own children? No. God is not going to be burning anyone for millions and millions and millions of years into eternity. Jesus did not fail, all will be saved. Which is surprisingly hard to accept that truth - because we think that bad people should be punished, but there is none good, no not one. If God had to damn some of the people to hell for all eternity, where is the cut-off? Only believers? I've been some pretty wicked believers in my time. Jesus died for our sins, because even though we may be born again, we still sin. It is nice to know, that God - in his infinate Love and Mercy will be saving everyone in the end, even the bad guys. That is why we need to learn unconditional love.

Susan said...

I'm really not trying to be argumentative (although I confess that it is in my nature to be) but I just want to know how you would include this statement from Peter into your belief system (which we all have one, whether we want to believe that or not, lol):

1Pe 4:17 For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?
1Pe 4:18 And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?
1Pe 4:19 Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.

Anyway, just truly want to know how those who subscribe to universalist belief can accept all of scripture (which definitely says there is a hell reserved for the devil and his angels, and the people who will be his followers, such as the antichrist and all who submit to the antichrist)

If you decide to ignore this, I understand, but I hope you can give a good answer for why you believe what you do (besides only "feeling" that it must be so)

:)
Susan

wendyworn said...

I would say that these verses from Peter fit into my belief system just fine, because although they may be used to try to prove the existance of hell - they do not prove the existance of hell. Our definition of the word "saved" is where the problem lies. It was also translated "made whole" in other places. Our tradition teaches that to be saved is to be saved from hell, and if you choose to continue to believe that, that is your choice. But we are being made whole and those that call upon the name of the Lord will be made whole. If the righteous scarcely are made whole - what will become of the ungodly and the sinner? "Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God" - it is by God's will that we suffer - we know we suffer because Christ is being formed in us and it is a painful process - but those that are ungodly and sinners - they suffer and don't know why, which makes the suffering all that much worse. The true hell - is this life - and some day - every eye (EVERY) will be dried and this present evil age will come to an end - and everything will have worked together for good. There is no knowledge from the grave - good or bad - heaven or hell - and there will be a resurrection. That is clear in the bible if you are willing to see it. But I also don't want to argue and that is why I don't have much desire to blog these days.
lots of love!
Linda

Susan said...

Thanks, Linda :)

Nicely put, although I still do not agree, because then there is the problem of the 2nd resurrection in the book of Revelation (the resurrection of the unjust) ... I can understand the desire to want to believe there is no hell (there are many religions that teach this, I was brought up SDA and they teach that also) but God knows why things are as He said, and He IS perfect, and our understanding wants things a certain way, but the fact truly is as you state, that NONE of us deserve the good things that God has for His elect. In order for there to be an "elect" there also needs therefore to be a non-elect, the earth-dwellers that chose the things of this earth over and above the things of God, and that will get thrown into the lake of fire along with the anti-christ...

again, if you choose not to post this, or comment further, I understand (which is not the same as "agree", ;) )

take care and hoping for the best for you...

wendyworn said...

Susan,

the letter kills, but the spirit brings life and peace. we shall agree to disagree my friend.

lots of love
Linda