A Fast

 

I'm writing this blog post old school. With a pen and paper. I feel like I'm at a crossroads in every aspect of my life.

The front door of our RV is broken and it will cost $1800 to get it replaced. My husband refuses to sink that much money into this place. I don't blame him.

After spending 6 weeks with no water this last winter, I really don't want to spend another winter in an RV. Plus, when the water came back on – our toilet was leaking and the RV guy (who I'm not very happy with) replaced it with a toilet that is too tall and now I can't open the drawer in the bathroom all the way.

Also, this last winter, the heater in my car went out and one morning I drove to work in 17 degree below weather and was concerned my toes would be frost bitten. I've been spending the last month or two trying to get it fixed.

First the shop put antifreeze in it and called it good, but that didn't do the trick. Then they replaced the thermostat. Then I had cold air in the morning and hot in the afternoon. When all was said and done, I've either got a blown head gasket or a cracked head. It's leaking antifreeze somewhere inside. The shop can't fix it because it's a Hybrid and the Honda dealership will charge thousands of dollars just to peek inside and find out the real problem. They said I could keep driving it as long as I put water in it before I go anywhere. That is ok right now but won't really work in the winter. Bottom line – I need a new car.

So, I need a new place to live and a new car. Possibly a new job as well because last week was one of the worst weeks I've had since I got the job. I took Thursday and Friday off just to get a break from the place. I did update my resume. I have a whole new layout and it looks pretty impressive. I have applied for a couple positions but will only take them for significantly more money than what I'm making currently. I am way underpaid for my current responsibilities.

I don't have any answers on any of the above situations so I decided to do a fast. I turned off my computer Friday night and won't turn it back on until Sunday morning when I will post this blog.

Sitting here in silence, drinking my coffee, I realized the irony of the situation. If you are looking for a job, or a car, or an apartment or a house, you go on the computer! Getting on the computer is the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do before going to bed. Day after day after day.

But the truth is – I don't need answers from the computer. I need answers from the Lord. Maybe, by the time this is posted I will have answers. We shall see.

(I wrote this yesterday morning. By yesterday afternoon, I had a new car. It's a really nice car too. Nicer than any car I've ever owned. Over and above what I could ask or think. See above photo. The Lord is so good to me.)

Take care out there.

Clouds Without Water

I remember when I was a child, laying in a field of grass, looking up at the clouds. They were always moving. Sometimes altogether as a group and sometimes individually. I remember the edges of the clouds moving. Sometimes it would look like a rabbit. But if you watched long enough, the rabbit would morph into a frog and then stretch out to become a Volkswagen, or whatever. It was a lifetime ago, when the world was innocent and so was I and everything hadn't become compromised. It hadn't quite become so very very fake.

On my drive home today, the sky was filled with white puffy clouds, just like in my childhood. At first I felt joy. If there were chemtrails going on, it was behind the puffy clouds. You really don't see puffy white clouds like that too much anymore.

So I was enjoying the drive on Old Hwy 40 and kept watching the clouds. But then I started noticing something off. The bottoms of all the clouds were flat. They all seemed kind of symmetrical. The bottoms were dark, so I was wondering if maybe they would become storm clouds? Some of the clouds had dark outlines, which really got my attention because it seemed so weird.

Then I realized that none of the clouds were moving. At all. Not as a group, not individually. They were not moving AT ALL. The edges of the clouds, although accurate cloud-looking edges, didn't move. They didn't dissipate and form little baby clouds, or turn into rabbits or frogs. The clouds, the entire drive home, stayed the same. They were technically 3 dimensional, because I did drive under one or two as I drove, but not one edge, or cloud moved at all. As if someone had found a way to put extremely realistic clouds into the sky, and suspend them there. But while they looked like realistic clouds, they didn't ACT like clouds. So, wonderful. One more fake thing up in the sky. I doubt anyone else even noticed, and who would believe me if I told them?

It reminded me of Jude 1:12 where it states “clouds without water”, I think it's in reference to fake people but just now looking at the verse – it even states that clouds are moved about by the wind. So Ironic.

Did you know that Aleister Crowley wrote a book called, “Clouds without Water”? Apparently it was a book of poetry with erotic undertones, written under the pseudonym Rev. C. Verey. It only had a limited private printing and was sent only to “ministers of religion.” Hhmmm. I'll bet he did. A book of spells to instill ministers with a spirit of lust, no doubt. There is an actually pdf of the book online, but I don't recommend you reading it.

Then I was reminded again. “look up, for your redemption draweth nigh.”

Yes! There is still hope for us yet.

Take care out there.