Wednesday, January 13, 2010

O me of little faith...

So my monthly test of faith (my car insurance bill) came again yesterday. I can believe for a cruse of oil to keep pouring forever or for the multiplicity of loaves and fishes, but I just seem to freak out a little when it comes to how this insurance bill is going to get paid. It REALLY irritates me that I wrestle with this every month. My insurance has gone up to $70 and I only had $60, but I needed to buy gas and had other plans for that money.

So as soon as I received the bill, I searched in my mind how I was going to get the money to pay it. I have a coupon for a $30 Safeway gift card if I transfer my prescription. So I thought, ok, I'll transfer my prescription and then sell the gift card for $30. But who will I sell the gift card to? My mom, that will look bad. Maybe I can put it on Craigs List. Grrr, that seems like a lot of bother. Now granted, I could ask my dad to pay the bill, and I have been working for him, helping him clean out his storage unit to move into a smaller unit. But that is not the point. I dont want to ask my earthly father to pay it. I want to ask my heavenly father to pay it.

So I wrestled all day to believe that somehow the Lord would take care of it, I dont know, maybe I would get a check in the mail. yeah, that's it, a check in the mail! Oooh. And maybe it would be a bigger check then just to pay my insurance. It would be a check that would be enough for me to get my van fixed too. Oh! Maybe it would be a check big enough for me to get my van fixed AND give my van away to some poor deserving family and I could buy a little camper with a bathroom. Yeah. You know, not a big camper, just one I saw on Craig'slist that was really cute for $1500. yeah. So a check big enough for a camper, to get my van fixed AND have money to live off of so I don't have to go through this faith dilemma for a couple of months. Yeah! $10,000 ought to do it.

Ok, so I realized that was getting to be a little ridiculous. Of course, as I am wrestling with this, I am admitting to the Lord that I suck at believing for this bill to be paid and that I hate being such an unbeliever that I know that I could fish for a gold coin and that He has arranged for this bill to be paid every month before, etc. So because I am losing the believing battle and I know it, I decide to give the Lord an out. (I'm saying that in hindsight, I didn't consciously think of it that way at the time.)So I say to the Lord, Ok Lord you are amazing and wonderful and I fully trust that this bill will be paid. So if it is not paid by the end of the day, I'm going to assume that you want me to cancel my insurance. Even though it is illegal to drive without insurance in the state of Oregon, the Lord would just have to protect me from being pulled over from the cops.(which is apparantly easier than just having insurance??? I know I'm a dork!)But with that being said I was able to rest in that idea and move on to other things.

It was around 8:30pm when I got home from visiting my friend and running errands. I checked the mail and there was no check. So I thought, cool, I guess I am cancelling my insurance and sat down on the couch. Then my dad says, "Well, go get that insurance bill, I'll pay it." !!!! I said, "REALLY?!" and my dad said, Yeah.

SEE! The Lord is good to me and always comes through for me. (My earthly dad does too!) Let that be a lesson to me!

On another side note. The evil spambots have found me. As much as I hate to do it, I may have to start moderating the comments. That goes for you Pedro, I dont mind if you comment Pedro, if you can stay on topic and use english. Otherwise I may have to disable the comments which i don't really want to have to do. Take care my friends.

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