Saturday, June 29, 2024

Wise Men and Kitchen Timers


I have a disability.

Well, maybe not a disability per se. Let's just say that I have a huge motivational problem when it comes to cleaning and can literally waste all day on the computer and accomplish nothing. To compensate for my, er, disability, I have come up with an excellent system that requires a kitchen timer. I call it 15/15. 15 minutes of cleaning, 15 minutes of computer time. At the end of the day, I know what is going on in the world (such that it is) and my drudgery chores are done.

I usually have two working timers at all times. Yesterday, shortly after I got home from the store, my good kitchen timer broke. I would turn the dial and it would snap back to zero and go off. I think it was the spring or something. So I had to throw it away and get the spare timer out of the drawer. The spare timer, unfortunately, never really worked very well although it cost me 15 dollars at the time. But, having just come from the store, it wasn't worth it to drive all the way back just for a timer. (Although as I write this, I'm not so sure.)

I wanted to get my chores done in the bedroom first since it is the hottest room in the house and I have to work in there in the morning before it becomes an oven. My goal is to get rid of everything that I've been hanging onto that I don't really use or need and also has no purpose in a post apocalyptic scenario. I also needed to repack the bug out bag. I don't know who keeps packing the bug out bag but they are an idiot. I could barely lift it and unless I'm planning on doing surgery on someone, completely impractical.

So I was bustling along, going from the computer to the bedroom carrying the timer with me and I got a lot done. I brought three garbage bags full of stuff out of there and it was starting to get too hot. I was at a good stopping place anyway and went to grab the timer and go back out to the kitchen. But the timer wasn't there. I went back over things and could not find it anywhere. I couldn't believe that somehow or other I lost the stupid timer. I was actually having a good day up until that point. But now, I was timerless. Not sure if I can even function properly without it.

My husband is a culinary genius and used to do all the cooking, which worked out well since I enjoy washing the dishes. But then he got sick and for the last 3 years, I have taken over the cooking because he is no longer able. Luckily, sometimes he likes simple things like fish sticks and steak fries for lunch. We have perfected the timing of it. Put the fish sticks in for 10 minutes, flip them, then add the fries for another 20 minutes. Nice and easy.

So when my husband requested fish sticks and fries for lunch I was happy to comply. I stood up, then said, “Shit!”

“What?” my husband asked.

“I don't have a timer!”

Now, my husband is usually a very wise man and we will be married for 10 years in July. While my head was in the freezer, digging out fish, he had a momentary lapse in situational awareness and started to say something foolish.

“Well, when I was doing the cooking, I would...” he started and didn't have a chance to finish because my head came out of the freezer so fast that his eyes got wide and he closed his mouth and turned back to the tv.

I could have been a good wife, appreciating how my husband was so wise that he did not finish that statement, but, I kindof suck. I did thank him for not finishing that sentence and left it at that. Although I may have used the term “Holy Hell” somewhere in my response. I'm not saying.

Now, my husband is fed, had some ice cream and is napping and I'm trying to decide if I want to make a special trip into town for a timer. Haven't decided yet.

Hope everyone is doing well, staying cool and checking the practicality of their bug out bags.

Take care out there.

10 comments:

Cederq said...

I have a timer exactly like that one! Mine works and it keeps time well... I could send it to you to borrow, but your timers enter the twilight zone and come back wonky or just plain disappear. I may have to rethink that that offer. How could you lose a timer, especially when it was ticking? I guess you don't want to see my bug out bags, one is actually a bug out, the other three are first aid and trauma bags, and yes, I could do surgery from those two bags. I have done minor surgery using those bags. I was up close to Glacier National Park with two buddies, one a doctor and the other a hospital pharmacist and the doc came down with a hot appendicitis and it had to come out. so using a two way radio and my experience I removed the offending appendage and he lived through the experience. All this going on during a blizzard that the rescue choppa couldn't lift off for two days after to evac him out.

wendyworn said...

I want to be with you when the shtf. it makes sense for you to have a surgery bag - but doesn't make sense for me. although i believe i could give someone stitches if necessary, I do know how to sew.

Justin_O_Guy said...

Might want to have a look in those bags of trash. Finishing up, got stuff to shove in a bag, heading out soon,grab the timer,, and ditch it with the stuff you meant to toss out.

Anonymous said...

Most cell phones have a timer app built in and you can set a timer in your computer as well

Exile1981

Eraser said...

Methinks you threw the timer away! I like the idea of setting a timer to parse my time though. I find myself in the same position; I just do what I do at this point and don't sweat the details.

Peteforester said...

...And people wonder why the old clocks chimed on the quarter hour... I bet there's an app for that...

I'm one of those weirdos who has a clock in his head. If someone asks me what time I think it is, my answer is usually within ten minutes of correct, and usually closer than that. My WIFE, on the other hand, has NO CONCEPT of time!

Peteforester said...

Oh; and just use the timer on your phone... There's ALWAYS a time on the phone...

Tree Mike said...

I use timers like that.

Anonymous said...

We have a timer exactly like yours. Wife brought it into our marriage 28 years ago.
She has bought at least three new timers over the last few years, and they never last. The old Lux timer still works as intended.
Bear in Indy

wendyworn said...

Update - I found my lost timer and bought two new ones so I am back to being a functional adult. ha ha