I am hemlock.
So my sister, (who is 40 and has never been married) has been seeing a man for the last 4 months. Although I really wanted to like this guy, he just rubs me the wrong way. He has went out of his way to win over the affection of my parents, but has not bothered to treat me the same. When he comes into the room, I feel like I need to leave the room, and when I have stayed, he has said little rude sarcastic things to me. Instead of ignoring these little random events, or giving them to the Lord, I have collected them, and thought upon them, until I have a full-blown list of offenses against this guy. I have sought the Lord several times about this man. "Why don't I like him? - Is there something spiritual I should know about him? Is it me Lord?" but the Lord has been silent for the most part concerning this. A couple days ago, this man called my mother to ask her what my sister's ring size is. They are planning on going to the beach this weekend.
Yesterday, my sister told me that she thinks he is going to ask her to marry him. I said, "what are you going to say?" She said, "Yes". So then I, in my infinate wisdom and christianess (NOT) proceeded to tell her that she should wait to find out if this guy is a jerk or not and blah blah blah I am ashamed and embarrassed by the stupid and heartless things that came out of my mouth. Well, I made her cry. She said, "I dont understand why you can't just be happy for me." What an unholy BITCH I am.
I felt really bad about making her cry, so I apologized for my harshness, (but not my words.)
This morning my best friend told me that the Holy Spirit told him to tell me, "Love your enemies." As I was reading the Word today, I read this verse:
Amos 6:12 - Shall horses run upon the rock? Will one plow there with oxen? For ye have turned judgement into gall, and the fruit of righteousness into hemlock.I knew then that I am not supposed to like this guy. I'm supposed to LOVE him. I should be praying for him and my sister because if they get married (and I think they will) they will be targeted for destruction by the adversary and he will even use me to try to accomplish that. I started to cry and to repent to the Lord for my unlovingness. When my sister came home I went to her and apologized for my words and my non-christian actions and asked her to forgive me. So we hugged and she said that she forgives me.
Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me. Put a lock on my mouth, and love in my heart for this man and my sister. Help me not to have my fruit of righteousness be a deadly poison to my enemies or my friends. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.