My bad attitude...

I have a bad attitude.

I dont mean I have one about something in particular. I'm concerned I may have it genetically.

One of the first jobs I had, I was working as a waitress in a Shari's restaurant. I actually hung out there with my friends at the time, so it was so cool that they were paying me to be there. I liked waiting on people and I loved the tips.

One day a couple months into the job, the manager called me into his office and said, "You have a bad attitude." I was shocked! There was no way I had a bad attitude! I loved that job, how could I love a job and have a bad attitude.

Several years later, when I was in Basic Training in the Air Force, our squad leader said to me, "You have a bad attitude when you are marching". This person actually said they were going to report me. But homey was starting to figure out how this game was played. "I'll see my bad attitude and raise you your drinking at the Chapparel. Shall we go tell the Sargeant together?"

So there must be something in my face, or the way that I stand that absolutely screams - BAD ATTITUDE. That is all well and good when one is a bad girl in the world. It does not work so well as a disciple in Christ. I have to say, honestly, that I am feeling a bad attitude coming on. I am fighting it, but honestly, this job is about kicking my ass. It shows me that I am truly still lacking in the death to self category. A customer screamed at me and made me cry today, and that was when I felt the bad attitude. I think I am not good at dealing with customer complaints. I'm sure it is that bad attitude look or stand I have. Or whatever it is that sabatoges me when I'm really trying to placate them.

So I'm thinking that if I can get through tomorrow, things maybe ok again because I'll be back on the swing shift and off the morning shift. Because, I'll tell you. People don't complain as much when they are checking in, as they do, when they are checking out.

Me and my bad attitude are going to pray for a softening. Because it shouldn't be so hard to be me.

Dear Lord, Help me. In Jesus name, Amen.