Monday, July 18, 2011
I can’t move my arm. I’m having some kind of charley horse/muscle spasm going on in my shoulder. I can hardly lift it without shooting pain.
Whenever I get weird aches and pains I try to see the parable in it. Arm. Right Arm. Arm of the Flesh. Arm of the Flesh is…
Right. Got it.
When I was in the Way International, we all spoke in tongues. We all interpreted and we all prophesied. Someone would call on you to speak in tongues and interpret and you would speak in tongues and then give the interpretation. If they called on you to give a prophecy then you would give a prophecy which was basically an interpretation without the tongue. Always for edification and comfort of the body. It was done by two and at the most by three, in order and the spirits of the prophets were subject to the prophets. It was all very decent and in order.
That is how I learned it. One big thing was the not speaking in tongues without the interpretation in the assembly. That was a BIG NO-NO! Then it could be counterfeit – witchcraft spirits or tribal spirits or all sorts of demonic things could be opened up to by that one act of speaking in tongues without the interpretation. It was a really strong pet doctrine of mine. A stronghold if you will.
A stronghold is a seemingly impenetrable fortress, in our minds. It is usually caused by a doctrine that may even seem biblical or unquestionable yet can actually hinder the movement of the spirit of God in our lives.
So I told my aunt how upset I was by the prayer meeting on Friday night and especially the speaking in tongues without interpretation. I told her about how I learned it. She said, “That is true, but this other way is also valid. It is praying in tongues and it is just as valid as the other one.” She took me to the verses in Acts where people who got born again spoke in tongues without interpretation. I said, “what about the businesses, businesses, businesses part the Lord wouldn’t start with businesses!” She said, “He was just praying in tongues and then was saying out loud the things he was praying in tongues for specifically – like the local businesses.” Oh, I thought.
So I brought up every problem I had including the fact that there can be counterfeit tongues if there is no interpretation. She said, “That is true, there is counterfeits out there, but that is where you have to trust in the Lord. You are covered by the blood of Jesus and you also know better. Nothing demonic can get on you unless you allow it. There are some people that just follow every crazy thing with no discernment. We don’t want to be at the place where we are unteachable. Maybe this is why the Lord brought you here.”
Unteachable. Ouch. Good one auntie.
That night I lay in bed, struggling to get comfortable when every time I moved my arm the pain would wake me up. I thought about being unteachable and also what it would take for me to pray in tongues in a group of people. What would it take for me to put away the doctrine and look at this praying in tongues in a new way. A very wise woman I know told me recently that the Lord was taking me deeper in my faith walk. I realized that in order to break this stronghold, I would truly have to trust the Lord more fully.
The spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets. That is true, but if I am holding so tightly to the manifestation of speaking in tongues, if I am in so tight in control, then the Holy Spirit manifestations cannot be spontaneous, cannot be inspired and to “flow” as one pastor put it. The trust is that I can let go enough to let the Father move in me in that way, but trust that He alone will protect me from anything that is not of Him. Almost like those trust games where you are going to fall flat backwards and someone is going to catch you. You truly have to trust that person is not going to let you fall.
The cognitive dissonance of this has not quite settled in me yet concerning this. But maybe this IS why the Lord brought me here. Maybe I am not as screwed as I thought. I have more strongholds to battle here than I once thought, but that is good. Maybe this one doctrine has prevented me from seeing true moves of the Spirit.
It’s a walk my friends, and I’m going to fall here and there. Probably more frequently than I care to admit. My life is an open book here and you can reject me if you need to. I understand. How can the Lord fully open my eyes, if I am not first blind?
Please pray for me. Pray that these strongholds in the imagination of my mind can be pulled down, so that I can see clearly. Thanks for sticking with me.
Blessings in Christ