Monday, July 18, 2011


I can’t move my arm. I’m having some kind of charley horse/muscle spasm going on in my shoulder. I can hardly lift it without shooting pain.

Whenever I get weird aches and pains I try to see the parable in it. Arm. Right Arm. Arm of the Flesh. Arm of the Flesh is…


Right. Got it.

When I was in the Way International, we all spoke in tongues. We all interpreted and we all prophesied. Someone would call on you to speak in tongues and interpret and you would speak in tongues and then give the interpretation. If they called on you to give a prophecy then you would give a prophecy which was basically an interpretation without the tongue. Always for edification and comfort of the body. It was done by two and at the most by three, in order and the spirits of the prophets were subject to the prophets. It was all very decent and in order.

That is how I learned it. One big thing was the not speaking in tongues without the interpretation in the assembly. That was a BIG NO-NO! Then it could be counterfeit – witchcraft spirits or tribal spirits or all sorts of demonic things could be opened up to by that one act of speaking in tongues without the interpretation. It was a really strong pet doctrine of mine. A stronghold if you will.

A stronghold is a seemingly impenetrable fortress, in our minds. It is usually caused by a doctrine that may even seem biblical or unquestionable yet can actually hinder the movement of the spirit of God in our lives.

So I told my aunt how upset I was by the prayer meeting on Friday night and especially the speaking in tongues without interpretation. I told her about how I learned it. She said, “That is true, but this other way is also valid. It is praying in tongues and it is just as valid as the other one.” She took me to the verses in Acts where people who got born again spoke in tongues without interpretation. I said, “what about the businesses, businesses, businesses part the Lord wouldn’t start with businesses!” She said, “He was just praying in tongues and then was saying out loud the things he was praying in tongues for specifically – like the local businesses.” Oh, I thought.

So I brought up every problem I had including the fact that there can be counterfeit tongues if there is no interpretation. She said, “That is true, there is counterfeits out there, but that is where you have to trust in the Lord. You are covered by the blood of Jesus and you also know better. Nothing demonic can get on you unless you allow it. There are some people that just follow every crazy thing with no discernment. We don’t want to be at the place where we are unteachable. Maybe this is why the Lord brought you here.”

Unteachable. Ouch. Good one auntie.

That night I lay in bed, struggling to get comfortable when every time I moved my arm the pain would wake me up. I thought about being unteachable and also what it would take for me to pray in tongues in a group of people. What would it take for me to put away the doctrine and look at this praying in tongues in a new way. A very wise woman I know told me recently that the Lord was taking me deeper in my faith walk. I realized that in order to break this stronghold, I would truly have to trust the Lord more fully.

The spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets. That is true, but if I am holding so tightly to the manifestation of speaking in tongues, if I am in so tight in control, then the Holy Spirit manifestations cannot be spontaneous, cannot be inspired and to “flow” as one pastor put it. The trust is that I can let go enough to let the Father move in me in that way, but trust that He alone will protect me from anything that is not of Him. Almost like those trust games where you are going to fall flat backwards and someone is going to catch you. You truly have to trust that person is not going to let you fall.

The cognitive dissonance of this has not quite settled in me yet concerning this. But maybe this IS why the Lord brought me here. Maybe I am not as screwed as I thought. I have more strongholds to battle here than I once thought, but that is good. Maybe this one doctrine has prevented me from seeing true moves of the Spirit.

It’s a walk my friends, and I’m going to fall here and there. Probably more frequently than I care to admit. My life is an open book here and you can reject me if you need to. I understand. How can the Lord fully open my eyes, if I am not first blind?

Please pray for me. Pray that these strongholds in the imagination of my mind can be pulled down, so that I can see clearly. Thanks for sticking with me.

Blessings in Christ


yolanda said...

Hey, I am continuing to pray for you and me. lol There is alot of mans doctrine we have to get out of our heads . You are right it does become s stronghold .I read a teaching a lady named liberty savard teaches on binding and loosing, very different but very word based. I said that to say I started loosing all wrong teaching and doctrines of demons and man off my mind daily and everytime it crossed my mind. I was shocked when in a few short weeks and months the teachings i was so sure were god and right I started to see the lies and the holes as never before this allowed me to tear down that stronghold and let his truth replace it. It was almost shocking how fast I begin to see differently. Just my journey notes on strongholds . take care girl we will arise and be clothed in his light . yolanda

wendyworn said...

thank you for that great comment. I am going to start loosing all wrong teaching and doctrine too. I only want the TRUTH in my mind.

take care my friend!

Anonymous said...

One deception at a time, One onion layer at a time, One stronghold at a time. Each man coming to the stature of Christ in his own order.

Like you said, God blinds us so that he might open our eyes. That is truly the bottom line to this walk with the Lord.

There are so many religious doctrines we hold to, so many things that honestly God has had nothing to do with. It is our own man-made traditions and views. He is definitely tearing down ALL things not like him in these days.

We are entering a "New Age" and thee are many people who will be surprised to see things do not turn out as they have been 'taught' to believe they would. So many are waiting for the world to literally end, etc, etc..Actually, God is just getting started!..ha!!

He sends us strong delusions and in puts us in the deep wilderness so that he might show us his ways.

I love ya Sis! We all are 'Under Construction' and "Clay in the Potter's Hands".

Let whoever will walk away and wish them well.


wendyworn said...

thanks so much Alicia for your kind words and emotional support. It has been so encouraging to know that there are other people out here in internet land going through the same things and know how hard this walk can be some times. Thanks for commenting!

blessings in Christ

Anonymous said...

You are so welcome. You definitely are not alone in this walk.

It can be extremely hard at times, but I truly understand even more WHY it has to be this way.

Have a good evening Sis!..


Anonymous said...

I hope you don't mind me asking, but I just don't believe that their are any tongues churches that are practicing the speaking of tongues in the Biblical manner, and since you do seem interested in only doing what you feel the Word of God says, how can you rationalize speaking in tongues as a women when the Bible plainly says in 1Cor. 14:34-35 that women are to keep silence in church and that it is a shame for them to speak in church. I am not asking to be difficult, it is just a genuine question I have about the legitimacy of a tongues church because most of the people that I have seen "speak in tongues", "interpret", or "prophesy" are women. I hope you can answer that for me. Thanks!

wendyworn said...

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your honesty. You are right 1 Cor 14:34-35 does say that. I do not know the answer to your question. Also, what do you think the punishment is if the women speak in the church? Do you think they will have to stand before the judgement seat of Christ and give an answer on why they felt the need to speak? Or felt the need to manifest the Holy Spirit in that way? If a women speaks in church is that a sin? These are all good questions that I do not have the answers for.

Thank you for reading my blog and for your comments. If you find the answers to those questions, let me know.

lots of love

Anonymous said...

I have considered what you asked, and these are my thoughts. #1 If God said not to do it, and we do it, it is wrong and therefore sin. #2 God doesn't sin, so it would not be the Holy Spirit urging you to do wrong, it would be either wicked flesh or an unholy spirit. #3 As far as punishment goes, I don't think we will ever execute judgement, only God will. If you are a Christian, then Christ has already paid the price for all sin, as far as eternity goes, but that does not mean that there will not be consequences for sin on earth. Perhaps, others will be confused by this non-biblical behavior and not see the Bible as God's Holy Word if we follow some passages and not others, and those who behave in that way will have the blood of someone else's soul on their hands. I think the confusion may be in the feeling aspect. Everything we "feel" we ought to do shouldn't necessarily be done. The Bible says that the heart is evil and desperately wicked, who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9 The problem with trusting our feelings is that they can deceive us. I think women (and I am a woman, by the way) are particularly susceptible to the whiles of Satan (Think Eve), and therefore must lean more heavily on the Word of God to be our guide. That is why I question a belief when people are so blatantly going against God's Word and claim that it is valid simply because they feel that they have to do it. Does that make sense?