Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Peace and safety and the RV park

I woke up to storms on Sunday morning. Thunder and Lightning and rain were outside the van, but I was warm and safe inside. I thought again about whether I was where the Lord wanted me to be. Should I go back on the road, while so close to Tillamook or go back into town? As I contemplate these things and think about God's Word and checking to see if I am harboring some secret sin that I have failed to confess, I realize that I am completely healed. The Lord had healed me and I wasnt even paying attention! How could that have happened? My mouth had been swollen for weeks and my gums were bleeding and every time I ate something the roof of my mouth was torn and my tongue would go to the wound, so much so that I was talking with a lisp. Yet now, looking back, I do not know when I was healed, sometime when I was not paying attention, and I feel horrible for not recognizing it or thanking God and glorifing Him.

O Lord, how will I ever be any kind of overcomer, let alone some chosen vessel if I cannot recognize your profound movements in my life?

The more I contemplate the more I am disgusted at myself. I have gotten a little schedule together, where I have bargained some work for room and board and I will stay here this weekend and stay there that weekend and aren't I clever? Yeah, I have completely scheduled the Lord right on out, and did not recognize that somehow I snuck back into Egypt without even realizing it. Thank you Lord, for your grace and mercy, and for once again showing me the error of my ways. Thank you for your healing and your righteousness and your holiness.

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