For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? Romans 7:22-24Sometimes the adversary just sneaks up on us.
I'm overweight. And truthfully, it is a good thing. Because my weakness is men. When I am skinny, I'm very cute and lots of men ask me out. So it actually saves me having an extra 80 pounds on my bod. I think it is the Lord's way of protecting me from myself. Nevertheless, once in a while, somebody sees through that.
So I am standing at the counter at work when a man comes to check in. He is staring at me and totally flirting with me, and he is beautiful. He says, "So you have me signing all this paperwork, are you signing anything for me?" I say, "Sure, if you want to marry me I will sign my two weeks notice." (I was just joking! I know that was a stupid thing to say, it just slipped out!) But he looks at me seriously and says, "Hmmmm, I am considering your offer!"
He asked me if I wanted to go out after work. I had to politely decline, explaining like the total dork that I am, that I should behave myself. He said I was sweet, and went to his room. I was blushing.
Then the adversary had to make me feel bad about it. Like I wanted to cry, trying to tell me that somehow - this walk with the Lord is making me miss out on...what? being the whore of the day? Shut up satan! This walk with the Lord is the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't trade it for all the friendships in the world, and certainly not some tryst with a perfect stranger - beautiful or not. No matter what, I would rather be all alone with the Lord than the most popular (and skinniest) girl in the world.
I looked up the word lonliness in the bible one time. It's not in there. You know why? Because no-one, and I mean NO ONE knows what being lonely is like, than our Heavenly Father. He is the only one, there is no one else on his level. He has us, but all we do is cry and whine all day long.
Thank you my beautiful sweet Heavenly Father. I know that when (and/or if) I am ready for a husband, you will arrange a strong man of God for the job. In the meantime, thank you for never leaving me or forsaking me. In Jesus name, Amen.