Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Little Yellow House

I was able to rent the little yellow house last night. Isn't it cute? I don't have any furniture - and it may be awhile before I have any, but the Lord will make sure I have what I need, He always does. So I may be moving in here and there until this weekend when I officially stop living at my cousin's house. I do not know yet if I will have internet access so I will check in when I can, it may be November before I can afford to get internet at my house if I can't find some wifi to jump onto. So I may be offline for several weeks, but I could use a bit of a break as well. I will post again soon.

lots of love!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Ode to Johnny

Ode to Johnny

sleep escapes me
my eyes are closed
i try to remember
a kiss stolen
when i wasn't ready
oh how i wish
i could turn back time

i can see you
in my mind
lying on a picnic table
black shades and
big smile
johnny come lately
the park where we met

a fire is burning
inside my chest
i am afraid
for the world
earthquakes and eruptions
should we ever be allowed
to kiss again

take heart my johnny
the time is coming soon
i will bring colors back
with me to ontario
when we are together
i pray the lord
my johnny to keep

it is quiet now
i am breathing in
breathing out
waiting for you
when the door is opened
i want to put my finger
on your tattoo

- by Linda Stevenson

Sunday, September 25, 2011

For Dips and Others

Saw this sign yesterday and my aunt was kind enough to pull over so I could take this picture. We went to see apartments yesterday. The first apartment was a studio for $485. The outside of the building had paint peeling off and the hallway carpeting was all ripped up. My aunt whispered, "slumlord" as she indicated that she was not going to bother going up 3 flights of stairs to see this apartment.

She was right not to make the effort because it was pretty much awfulness personified. The kitchen was a joke with a tiny stove shoved into a corner on a diagonal and a HUGE utility sink with no place to stack dishes. I pretty much decided against seeing any other apartments this realty company had to offer after that.

There was another apartment that was furnished for $600 - $550 if you don't smoke - which I don't. We went to see that one, but it also was pretty bad. But it did have furniture and I thought that if I got some sheets to cover the furniture and the little bed that I might be able to live there since it was only three blocks from the hospital. The urgency of the situation was getting the better of me.

My aunt thought the place smelt like pee.

I couldn't smell anything.

She said I wouldnt feel safe around all the drunks and possible meth addicts and downright icky people that might be living there.

I didn't feel unsafe, I thought I could live there until I got a car and could move somewhere else.

My aunt finally got exasperated with my making excuses for the dive and said, No Linda! The Lord did not give you this great job so that you could live in an awful apartment with furniture that WHO KNOWS WHAT! has taken place on! or BUGS! The Lord has something else in mind for you and you will just have to be patient about it.

We drove around for another hour looking to see if there were signs in the windows, we got some numbers and made some calls but just got machines, so we called it a day and went back to her house for BLT's.

She dropped me off at my cousins early in the afternoon. My cousin wanted to go drive around some more and look around some more so we did. Strangely we drove right past this sign again and saw a house that had a sign for rent in the window. When I called the number the answering machine message said that they had an apartment for show around the corner that was $750 a month with a $500 deposit. So we drove around the corner and here was the CUTEST! little yellow house. The door was unlocked so we went inside.

It was huge! It was the top level of a house that was converted into an apartment with another apartment in the basement. But it had a huge bedroom and a huge livingroom/dining room and a huge kitchen. Plus it was all vintage looking with arches for doorways and little recessed mirrors in the living room, and hardwood floors throughout. I loved it! So did my cousin and she said that she would pull the $750 out of her savings and let me borrow it to pay the rent until I get paid again on the 7th. The message said to fill out an application and leave it on the kitchen counter. Well there were no applications except mine. I said, I think I'm getting this house. My cousin said, I think so too, this one or the first one - we will have to look at that one too. So we have been praying about it and we are going to pray again today when we all get together for prayer. This house is 4 blocks away from the hospital.

The Lord is mighty to take care of the details in my life and He will find just the right place for me. Thank you for all your prayers!

Lots of love

Friday, September 23, 2011


Wow. Where did the week go? Both the apartments I looked at got rented by people other than myself. Which is ok. I got paid today so I was unable to rent them anyway - and they both had some ghetto type issues to them. But the Lord is big. I mean REALLY big and if He brings me a good apartment the way He brought me a good job, I will be truly set. My cousin's new husband is moving his son in Oct 1st so the big hint is that I need to be out of here by then although the words are, "I don't want you to feel rushed..."

Right. I don't want you to feel rushed but if you could get out of here as soon as possible that would be great. Oh well, I never wanted to move in here in the first place, but was sortof forced to at the time. Pressure is what turns coal into diamonds my friends. So I should be a veritable ROCK by the time this is over.

I almost cried at my job yesterday morning. The girl who is supposed to be training me is deliberately NOT training me so once again, I am at a job where, having been thrown to the sharks, will either sink or swim. Thanks, I prefer to swim and Thank God for my ability to figure things out. My work and the quality of my work will prove me in the end. But I did go to the bathroom and pray that the Lord would take all the pressure off me and make it so that I didn't cry. My eyes watered, but no actual tears fell. Thank God. This is the type of stuff that makes me hate working in the secular realm. Yet, this is where the Lord has placed me for a season so Sie La Vie.

Thank you for all your prayers. Please pray for me to get into a decent apartment soon.

Lots of love!

Monday, September 19, 2011


There is alot going on in my life. I really love my new job, but I've been starting around 7am and going until 5:30pm or so due to the fact that I do not have a car and so must work around my cousin's schedule.

I was discussing the idea that if I wanted to get a car and also go see Johnny for Thanksgiving - taking into account the amount of paychecks I have between here and there - I was not sure if I would be able to move out until January.

My cousin's husband said, "JANUARY!!" and gave me the dirtiest look, so I decided that the apartment would have to take precedent over a car. I looked in the paper and there is actually an apartment available two blocks away from the hospital for $500 a month. If they were to allow me to pay the deposit in later paychecks, I could possibly move into the apartment on Oct 1st. I would have no furniture for a while and would probably have to eat at the hospital cafeteria for a couple weeks, but the location and rent is perfect and I could walk to work and for-go getting a car until I had saved up some money.

The Lord's timing is perfect, so He will open the doors for this apartment if it is His will. In the mean time, blog posting may be sketchy for a while.

Please pray for me my friends,
love in Christ

Friday, September 16, 2011

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Sorry guys...

My new job is really awesome and really exhausting - so it's pretty much been work and sleep for me this week. I will hopefully be able to post again soon.

love in Christ

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Kingdom of Heaven Part 1

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matt 5:3

The word blessed in the above verse is an adjective that really means happy. The word poor is the Greek word Ptochos which means poor, needy, beggar. According to Thayer’s Lexicon it means, “one who slinks and crouches, often involving the idea of roving around in wretchedness.” Roving around in wretchedness – wow! It goes on to say, “but it always had a bad sense until it was ennobled by the Gospels.” So it was always considered bad to be poor, until it was cool.

So in other words, “Happy is the poor and wretched and lacking in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

It’s a contrast to those rich men that will find it hard to get into the kingdom of heaven:

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. Matt 19:23-24.

We need to look at this spiritually and not carnally. It is not really talking about wealth, although that is a part of it. The rich man, believes in his wealth and believes in the carnal world around him and cannot see spiritual things. The rich man, as noted by the rich young ruler who went away sorrowing in Matt 19:22, was unwilling to get rid of his possessions in order to really follow Jesus. Sometimes it is required to get rid of your possessions so that you can clearly see spiritual things from the Lord – but many people in the bible were rich, like Joseph of Arimethia, Abraham and Job. It’s not so much riches and wealth – but what they represent.

The reason it is so hard for a wealthy person to understand the things of God is that they believe that their wealth and their possessions are what brings happiness and understanding. They cannot see past that in order to see spiritual truths. The poor in spirit, those walking around aware of their wretchedness – they are seeking spiritual truths and they won’t let anything from the carnal realm stop them. Theirs is the kingdom of heaven, because the kingdom of heaven is available to all who will follow Christ and who seek after spiritual truths.

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs IS the kingdom of heaven.

There is more to the Kingdom of Heaven, but that is all I have time for today.

Love in Christ

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Heavens Were Opened

And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him:

And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Matthew 3:16-17

The above verses do not say that the clouds were opened and some sunlight shown down on Jesus. It says that the heavens were opened unto him, as in REVELATION! I never got that before because traditionally, like an old Renaissance painting, I always pictured that verse as saying the sky opened and the clouds parted and a little dove flew down. But this was a vision that Jesus was having, and the revelation of what the heavens really mean was revealed to him, and his understanding was opened. After that, Jesus began to teach about the Kingdom of Heaven.

From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Matthew 4:17

The Words Jesus spoke were Spirit and they were Life.

Anyway, just a little nugget to chew on for now. The concept of the Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of God is so vast, that I have only begun to understand the depth of it.

I start my new job today. Please pray for me!
Love in Christ

Sunday, September 11, 2011

It Is What It Is

There is a certain relationship in my life that does not make any sense to me at times. I have tried to end it on numerous occasions and the other person has tried to end it, yet somehow, we are still friends. My friendship with this person has been a constant up and down struggle and I have asked the Lord why it continues and what purpose it serves. Is there a future? Will it end? Why is it still going on?

"It is what it is" was the answer I got.

The more I thought about that, the more profound it seemed to me. It is what it is actually explains a LOT about this life. So many things do not make sense, so many questions seem to not have an answer. But if I just accept it - whatever that may be - as it is - as it presents itself to me - then that in itself is the answer.

That is also how I can look at people sometimes. They are who they are. I can only accept them, right where they are, and who they are and love them where they are. Should I think, in my infinite wisdom that that particular person needs changing - well, I'm welcome to pray for them, but ultimately, I need to love and accept that person for who they are and where they are at, at that moment in time. No more, no less.

My life is what it is. Where the Lord has me at this moment is what it is. What the future holds cannot be found out today no matter what I do, or think, or struggle with. Because even the future is what it is. It will be revealed soon enough.

Please pray for me tomorrow as I start my new job.
Love in Christ!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Loving Strangers

I went to my new HR department at the hospital where I will be working. I filled out all the forms to be employed in the United States, W-4 and I-9 and others. I was told that I needed to bring my shot records. I know that I last saw my shot records back in Oregon. I have been carting them around in my "important papers" file for years and years, yet it was not in my important papers file that I have here. So I actually think that sometime back in Oregon when I was cleaning out the file and tossing old federal tax forms etc, that I looked at that shot record and concluded that since no-one has asked me for it in 20 years and since I highly doubt I will be taking any vaccines anytime soon, that I can just toss it. That sounds like me and yes, I am an idiot.

I spent the afternoon meeting people and everyone I met, seemed very important to me. It's kind of a new experience for me since before I was NEVER a people person. But now that I am endeavoring to love the people that I meet, the people that I meet seem WAY more interesting than ever before.

I had to go to another company in order to get drug-tested. The guy who drug tested me was tall and bald and had a tattoo on his arm. His eyes were dark blue. He said he knew where Sherwood and Tigard and Portland were and that he knew this guy named Garcia there. I said, "Ed?, that was killed in the military a few years back?" He looked at me with a big grin and shock and said, "Yeah!" So we talked about the rain and landmarks and how it totally sucks you can't get Tillamook Ice Cream out here in Casper. I asked him what his name is and it is Alan. It was like we were already friends. He said maybe he would see me around. I said, yeah, cuz it seems like a small world today!

The nurse that helped take my health evaluation was named Peggy and she also had blue eyes and was very intense and very nice. Since I don't have any shot records, (I told Peggy that I must have lost them in the move and not that I may have deliberately tossed them. It's not really lying because I can't remember deliberately tossing them, I just think that's what I may have done) they were going to just take some blood and check them for antibodies. They have mandatory flu shots here but she told me that they pay extra so that their shots are mercury and themerisol free. Good to know.

I explained to the two men in the lab that my little veins like to collapse the minute anyone thinks about poking me with a needle. I may have intimidated the new guy but the other guy wasn't afraid and actually got some blood first time out. Normally they have to poke me three or four times before they get blood out of me. I had a healthy respect for the lab guys now.

So that was all for today. I am to go back at 7:45am on Monday the 12th for my badge and my TB test. I will actually be starting the new position that day after lunch and will do the rest of my orientation on the 19th and 20th because they are desperate to get me in there and trained. I'm excited. I'm really looking forward to all the people I am going to be able to meet. I am looking forward to making friends and I know that the Lord will place people in my life for refining and His purposes.

You know what? Loving people is not as hard as I thought it might be. I think I am really going to be good at this! : )

love in Christ

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

5 am

I am getting up early this week to test my morning routine before I actually start work next week. My cousin leaves for the hospital at 6:45 so she can be to work by 7am, but my schedule will be 8-5. So until I get a car of my own, I will have to try to work within this schedule. I am still trying to walk, do my exercises and practice my guitar and shower all before I have to leave the house. My cousin asked why I don't just do it after work. It's because I know myself, I won't do it at the end of the day.

So as it stands right now here is my morning schedule:

3am - phone alarm goes off and I snooze it until:
3:30-4:15 - read the bible and do my journaling
4:15-4:30 - check email
4:30-5:00 - practice guitar
5:00-5:15 - online
5:15-6:00 - walk and do exercises
6:00-6:15 - online - eat oatmeal
6:15-6:45 - shower and get ready
6:45 - leave for work with my cousin

Now this schedule will be adjusted once I get my own car and then also, my cousin tells me that they give a 20% discount to hospital employees at the local athletic club. There is a really nice athletic club close by that has both an indoor track and a pool, so once I get settled in I can join it and then do all my exercises straight after work, or something like that. I like the idea of maybe taking some water aerobics classes. I am still hoping to lose weight while I'm here. I have lost close to 10 pounds so far, but that also means I need to make sure I get my exercising in.

Ok - that's my 15 minutes online. Now for my walk.

have a good day!
love in Christ

Monday, September 5, 2011

Loaf N Jug

Now that Casper Wyoming and I are going to be such good friends, I thought I would post about one of my favorite places here. Yep. The Loaf N Jug. Although we have similar venues out there in Oregon, the Loaf N Jug is a staple of life in the mid-west.

I did an extensive search of scriptures and found that it is NOT a sin to have a 44oz. fountain drink of diet pepsi from the Loaf N Jug so I usually try to indulge at least once a day, sometimes twice. It is $1.49 for an original, but if you save your cup you can get a refill for only $.76. Ahh, the small pleasures of life.

I finally got the last $500 from the sale of my van. The Lord was working on an extreme series of events that kept me from actually receiving the money for over a month, just in case I would have already purchased a bus ticket back to Portland. As it was, I got it just in time to buy some nice clothes for my new job.

My aunt and I had a coupon for $20 off of $100 from J.C.Penny's so we went shopping yesterday. We walked into the shoe section and I saw a FABULOUS pair of black leather boots that were not only extremely cute, but would be very functional for me to wear to my new job during the winter. They were originally $90 on sale for $50. I went to ask the saleslady if they had size 9. Nope they were all out of any sizes higher than 8. My aunt said, "you can order them." I said, "No, I think the Lord is telling me not to get them." We went and paid for the clothes I was buying and at the end of the transaction, the saleslady handed me a coupon for $10 off my next purchase of shoes! So my aunt said, "that means you have to go order those boots!" So I ordered the boots and got them for $40. God really is good my friends.

I broke the news to Johnny that I got the job. He congratulated me but he was pretty quiet and I know that deep down he felt disappointed, just like I did as far as this part. Because that means it will be at least 6 months if not longer before I can see him. But that is in the Lord's hands. It is the Lord that is keeping us apart at the moment because the Lord knows that at this moment in time, Johnny and I are such horn dogs that we would be unable to contain ourselves should we ever be allowed to be in the same room with each other. Sorry, but it is the truth of the matter. There are no accidents and I believe the Lord is working something out there and by the time we do finally get to see each other, we will hopefully be more calmed down. Anyway, I am really trusting the Lord on that part. We shall see.

I am so thankful about this job and my aunt has been using it as a testimony to how amazing the Lord is at all the different churches we have been going to. I mean - this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and the Lord is really showing that He has a purpose for me here beyond moving my aunt after all. I go in to fill out paperwork on Wednesday and then officially start the job on the 12th. I am getting up early this week to get my body used to having to be somewhere at 7:30am again. I am trying to work out how I'm still going to get my exercise and practice my guitar, but I'm sure I will come up with a solution somehow.

The Lord is showing me extremely meaty amazing things about heaven and the concept of heaven, but so far, I have not really been released to write about it. When I try to write a blog post I sit with a Word document open and the title written and stare at a blank page. So I am waiting on the inspiration from the Lord and what He would have me write about it, and it may end up being a mult-part post. But in the meantime, I feel such peace and joy, just finally having some answers and direction in my life, you have no idea.

I'll keep you posted my friends!
Love in Christ

Friday, September 2, 2011

A Future and A Hope - God is Good

Everyday since my job interview last Friday I have woken up with a different idea on what the future held for me. One day I would wake up and say - I'm not getting that job, the Lord probably wants me to go back to the rain and the traffic and I can get a job out there in Portland. The next day I would think - well if I go to Ontario Oregon and see Johnny then it is more deserty and maybe the Lord will open up a door there for me. This morning I wake up and think, it would just be better for me to get that job and get an apartment and a car and save up some money and go visit Johnny and get my teeth fixed and make some friends. Thy will be done.

I just got the call. I am the new Executive Secretary to the CFO of one of the top hospitals in the state of Wyoming. I will be making $44,000 a year which is more money than I have ever made in my life. The Lords plans for me ARE good, and He is paving the way for me to have a FUTURE and a HOPE! This is abundantly above what I could ask or even think and I am so very thankful to my Father at the moment.

The process that the Lord has been taking me through was to get me to the point where my heart was ready to recieve good things. I was so used to the "afflicted path" that I had no joy, I was so used to the "suffering" that I was unable to believe that there was any good coming in the future - even though I clung to that Jer 29:11 and the promise that the plans of the Father for me were good. Boy howdy, Good is an understatement. Excellent and blowing my mind are more like it.

Thanks Father, for your promises and sweet care of my life!
love in Christ

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Legalism Beyond Legalism

As I sit at the center of the multi-directional fork in the road, I reflect upon what the Father has been working on in me since I came to Casper Wyoming. People who are under the law – cannot see that they are under the law. Legalism is a dirty word and no one wants to be labeled a Pharisee. When I was under the law, I pointed my finger at the Seventh Day Adventists because they believed that the Sabbath was on Saturday and therefore they did no work from sun-down Friday night to sun-down Saturday night. They also STRONGLY RECOMMENDED that you don’t eat meat. To me, they were under the law.

When I was under the law, I pointed my fingers at the Catholics because they were the leading examples of idolatry outside of the Hindu religion. O how I loved to point my finger at “others”. That is a favorite pastime of someone under the law. How do I know I was under the law? I didn’t. Not until the Lord began to show me the difference between being under the law and being truly free born in Christ.

I thought that I had been delivered from the law, until I was confronted with the manifestation of speaking in tongues in a different way then I had been taught. Because my mindset on speaking in tongues was so set in stone, it was probably the hardest thing I have yet to overcome in this spiritual journey. To allow someone the opportunity to speak in tongues (with or without interpretation), to worship the Father in spirit and in truth, the way that person was being led to operate was a milestone for me. I had a one-way in which to operate speaking in tongues mindset that had to literally be dismantled in me, in order to see that the Lord is not legalistic in that manner either.

O I know that a case could be made from scriptures to do it this way, or to do it that way – and depending on which way you interpret it from the scriptures, you can be a Pentacostal or a Baptist or a Charismatic. It is all the various ways in which scriptures can be interpreted that cause all the divisions in the body of Christ. It’s not the scriptures fault, of course. I don’t know that there is a remedy for that, in which all the Christians in all the denominations will suddenly come to agreement and unity and put away their differences.

Then of course, there is hell. What happens after you die? You go to heaven or hell right?


After you die, you lie in the grave until you are resurrected.

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest. Ecc. 9:10

That is why death is called sleep in the New Testament, because it is like sleeping.
These things said he: and after that he saith unto them, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth; but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep.

Then said his disciples, Lord, if he sleep, he shall do well.

Howbeit Jesus spake of his death: but they thought that he had spoken of taking of rest in sleep.

Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead. John 11:11-14
Also read 1 Corinthians 15.
But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.

For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

Wherefore comfort one another with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18.
Why would the dead in Christ rise if they were in heaven floating around? They aren’t in heaven floating around after they are dead, but they are dead, like sleeping people who have no knowledge of things going on around here.

Heaven does not mean what we have been taught, just as hell doesn’t but that is a another blog post for another time.

But there are some that cannot receive this. Intellectually they believe in the resurrection, but they also believe that when you die, you go to heaven, or if you were bad, you go to hell. If you were consciously alive after you died, why would you need a new body anyway? Couldn’t we all just be spirits? Ah, but the Lord is giving us a new body because we will be resurrected, except for those who are alive and will be changed. Yet even this is far too complicated a subject for one blog post.

The key to getting all the legalism and doctrinal “laws” out of your system, is to seek first the Kingdom of God, to love God and unconditionally love those around you – friend and enemy alike. Love is the end of the law and the fulfillment of the law.

Love in Christ