Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Here is the latest email I got from Martin Zender and Company:

August 12, 2012


Hello Everyone,

This has been an exciting summer, with more conferences than usual. We just returned from an amazing conference in Sacramento,complete with all the teaching, learning, fun, joking, and fellowship that typically happens when body-of-Christ believers gather in groups.
Here's a link to one of Martin's talks from last weekend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBRdIDFomTg

Here's a link to most of the speakers from the 2012 Sacramento Scripture Conference.

http://www.youtube.com/user/CharlesRut?feature=watch

The next conference is later this month:

What: First Annual Midwest Concordant Bible Conference
Where: Path to Life Fellowship and Outreach Hall
Location: 5209 W. 41st St. Sioux Falls, SD, 57110
Dates: Friday to Sunday, August 24-26, 2012
Speakers: Clyde L. Pilkington, Jr. and Martin Zender

Schedule:

Friday night: 7 p.m., Testimony night, Q&A with Clyde and Martin.
Saturday morning: 10:45 to Noon: Speakers Clyde and Martin.
Saturday afternoon: 1:30 to 5:00, both speakers and Q&A.
Saturday night: Bonfire and fellowship at Dan Baker's home.
Sunday morning: 10 a.m. to noon: Speakers Clyde and Martin.

Hotels nearby to the meeting hall:

Days Inn, 605-361-9240
Red Roof Inn, 605-361-1864

Other hotels:

http://hotelguides.com/south-dakota/sioux-falls-sd-empire-mall-hotels.html

If you are able to attend, please, contact Tom Sargent for more information, at 605-941-9150 or tsargemo@sio.midco.net.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement.

May God bless you!

Grace and peace,

Rebecca, Martin, and Kelly

I'm possibly going to this - although it is short notice for planning. Have not yet made up my mind - but I have the money and it sounds like another great time in God's word.

lots of love
Linda

Full Circle

Guess what? I got my old van back right here in Casper Wyoming. My son had it shipped out to me because he is getting ready to be deployed to Qatar and he wasn’t using it anyway – having two other vehicles. Amazing how the Lord preserved that for me. The other little car I had died recently so this is great timing.

Other than that, things are ok. My social life is picking up so I am not spending so many nights home alone. I’ve been helping with the single’s ministry at the local church and have met some great people. I’ve noticed the Lord protecting me from situations that I am not even aware of – until after I realize that if the Lord had not intervened it would have been much worse.

I sometimes think about Elijah and wonder what he did for those three years that he stayed at the widow’s house. Did he freak out and wonder what God had planned for him? Maybe people were much more patient back then.

I’m just working a lot of hours and having dinner with friends here and there and that is about it. I still miss the open road but there is a season for everything and I am still where the Lord has placed me, even if it doesn’t make for exciting blog posts.

Hope you all are doing grand.
Lots of love
Linda

when I was Spike

I'd like to introduce you to an old friend of mine. A friend from my past. Spike. Played by James Marsters back in my Buffy days.

I first found Buffy the Vampire Slayer during season 4. I was in an apartment that only got two channels. Channel 49 - WB at the time and Channel 13 - the sci-fi channel. I had two little kids at the time and not much of a life outside of work and child raising. I started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer - when she was just starting to get involved with Riley. But Spike was there and even then you knew that there was a connection between the two - Spike and Buffy that is.

So when I got my first computer the first thing I did was go to Buffy the Vampire Slayer websites. It was a little naughty since I was still in the mind control cult of the Way International. There was nothing in the Christian circles I hung with that said it was ok to watch Buffy.

The first Buffy website that I came across had this thing where you could send a virtual postcard from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to whoever you wanted. I decided to send one to myself - from my old email address to my new one. By some bizarre twist of fate - the postcard I recieved was not from me - but was from a man named Andrew. Andrew and I began a Buffy based correspondence that would change my life.

It is strange how the Lord could use something as bizarre and far-away from Christianity as Buffy the Vampire Slayer to bring me closer to Him, - but that is not where I am going with this at this time.

I moved to Southern California - probably close to the real Hellmouth and had a relationship with Andrew. I can not even go into all the details that happened there, but at the time Andrew and I were like Spike and Buffy. I was Spike - because Spike loved Buffy even though she never really loved him back. But Spike was willing to take what he could get - little tiny crumbs of affection - even though he always knew that she would never love him back.

Fast forward to now. For years I never watched TV - being so legalistic. I got rid of all the seasons of Buffy I had on DVD to go out on the road for the Lord. The Lord is not without a sense of irony because now it is all coming back to me.

So here I am - rewatching all those old episodes of Buffy and especially the episode where everyone was singing. "Once more with feeling" is the name of the episode. But it brought to my memory how I was Spike. I remember how much I loved Andrew (buffy) and how much he didn't love me back.

I don't know what else to say. I'm not Spike anymore - but a part of me is tempted to be. To love someone that hard again and not have them love you back - to be willing to take crumbs from that person in the name of love. But as much as I can still see the Spike in me, I also know that to trust the Lord with my heart - means that somehow - someway - someone will love me back. It will not be like Spike - unrequited love.

I don't live on the Hellmouth anymore. I'm in Wyoming now. I will trust the Lord to accomplish the impossible,because He is the only one who can.

lots of love
Linda

The Spirit of Rejection – A Two-Handed Game

A dear friend of mine loves to quote from Eric Berne’s “Games People Play”in regards to the mind games that people play in life – the patterns of social interactions. Eric Berne uses the term two-handed game or three handed game in reference to how many people may be involved in each pattern of behavior. My friend is not a Christian, and although I believe that Eric Berne has some great insights into people’s behavior – he doesn’t understand the underlying spiritual basis for everything that happens in this life.

The spirit of rejection almost always begins its influence in childhood. Most of the time it could be that one or both parents rejects the child in either a real – or perceived way and the rejection manifests itself in the form of physical, emotional or verbal abuse and/or neglect. The child begins to believe that he/she is unloved and/or unlovable, and their sense of self-worth is deeply affected. The child then compensates by trying to “win” the affection and love of the parent(s).

The child will either turn to perfectionism – where they will endeavor to please the parent(s) by excelling in school, or sports, or other similar activities, or they will rebel concluding that their parents are somehow right about them – so why try to do anything but fail, or it will be a combination of the two. If unchecked, the child will carry these coping mechanisms into their adult life.

In adult relationships, where there is a spirit of rejection at work, this same child – will inadvertently seek out partners who have similar qualities to the parent(s) who rejected them. They will first seek out other adults who will reject them and then try to win their affections or “make the other person love them” through various means – including manipulation. The pain of rejection is made that much worse by the fact that the rejected party tends to believe their personal worth and value is wrapped up in the other person’s opinion of them. Thus rejection becomes a devastating experience.

Rejection is a two handed game because it involves two players: the rejecter and the rejected. We tend to sympathize with the rejected because everyone has experienced rejection to some degree in their life and we all know how much it hurts. But more often than not – the rejecter has also been influenced by a spirit of rejection. (This is not true of every case where someone breaks up with someone or otherwise “rejects” them. I am talking about toxic relationships that are part of a pattern of rejection – rejecting and being rejected) Just as the “rejected” tend to become involved in relationships where they will be rejected – the “rejecters” tend to be involved in relationships where they will reject the other.

So it is an ongoing game – because it continues in a circular manner.It is not that one outright rejects the other and it ends there. It is a process of rejection, getting closer, pushing away, getting closer, rejection, etc. That is why some people get in and stay in relationships with someone who has made it clear that they are unavailable either physically or emotionally. The rejected may feel they are in a relationship where the other person rejects them, but will not let them go either. The rejecter needs the rejected to stick around to be continuously rejected or the game would come to an end. The game continues because the pattern is so familiar and they are both unaware of the spiritual influence involved in these patterns. So the rejecter is just as much a victim as the rejected because they don’t know that there is a pattern of behavior – let alone be able to break it. Sometimes the one who is continuously rejected – becomes the rejecter – rejecting someone else before they get rejected once again. – It is a vicious cycle.

In the area of games, Eric Berne states that when one person begins to realize the game (especially as they become delivered from that spirit of rejection and God reveals the pattern to them and they begin to heal) the other person will play harder. Thus the player will go to greater lengths to get the other to get back into the game – or they will find someone else to play the game with, thus solidifying the rejection.

The real key to deliverance from a spirit of rejection is Love. Our God is a God of Love. First off – to recognize that a person’s self-worth is not tied to another’s opinion– another’s rejection or acceptance. God has accepted all through Christ Jesus. Second – to understand that in order to break these cycles of rejection – love has to be unconditional. Those that are trapped in these toxic relationships tend to think of love as a means to an end. Either they will try to make the person love them back – thus validating their self-worth – or they will love people selfishly, such as loving their own ability to love that person, or their idea of that person instead of truly loving the person.

Breaking life-long patterns of behavior is not easy, and the Lord is able to open people’s eyes to these toxic patterns. He is able to deliver people from spirits of rejection. Nothing is impossible for Him.

Lots of love

Linda

Love - Sees No Fat

photo credit

When I was a baby Christian I had a list of things I wanted in life. The first two were:

1.) Lose weight

2.) Find a good husband

Well, here it is, 20 years later and those two things are still on the top of the list but now I am 70 pounds heavier than when I first wrote those goals down.

This year I have tried 3 different diets each one completely different from the other. One was a low-carb, high fat, high protein diet so I cleared all the bread and cereal and peanut butter out of my house. But I could not reach ketosis for one reason or another and just could not sustain the restrictions. So I switched to a low-fat diet that used points. I had to constantly be thinking about what I was eating and planning meals and keeping track of everything but I was annoyed at some of the point’s values for some things. 2 crackers were 4 points and 2 tablespoons of peanut butter was 5 points. Next was another diet based on diabetic exchanges. Again fail.

Well, I started to consider why I kept failing from a spiritual point of view. Like anything in life that could be considered a giant – I sought the Lord for why I have had no success in losing weight.

I started with the scriptures. I pondered the reason that Jesus said, “Give no thought for tomorrow – what you would eat, what you would drink and what you would put on.” I began to see that my constant dieting was making me fat. I decided that I needed to put a stop to all the planning, all the weighing and measuring and guilt and condemnation and the daily routine of standing on the scale and seeing no results or worse – the slow creep up. To remind myself that there is a spiritual reason we are not to be constantly thinking about this stuff.

But I really began to see - like the above verses – that I would never be thin until I stopped seeing the fat in others, a very bad habit that I did not even realize that I had. Don’t get me wrong – I realize that those verses are talking about spiritual matters and I get that – but I also know that sometimes these things still apply in the physical realm. I realized that my obsession with my weight translated into an obsession with the weight of others. Just as I hate the fat in myself – I hated the fat in others and it was usually the first thing I noticed about them. I suppose part of it is our culture and the way we equate beauty with being skinny, which is unfortunate, but that does not excuse my part in it. We are to love our neighbors as ourselves. I needed to stop hating fat and stop hating my body.

So these were exactly the things I was agonizing over in my mind when I went to hear Clyde Pilkington and Martin Zender and Sean Marting teach in Colorado Springs. The very first teaching – given by Clyde – was a reminder that the Lord created us just the way we are. That we are flawed by design – and reminded us of the verses in Jeremiah when he went down to the potter’s house and made something on the wheel and then marred it in his hands and then made a new vessel. I realized that I am fat by design. I always suspected that it was God’s will for me to be fat because God knows how boy-crazy I am and if I was skinny and cute I would not be able to resist the attention I would get. I felt that my fat was somehow armor – protecting me from carnal men. But as I sat in the conference I thought, Oh my God! What if it is God’s will that I will always be fat? That I reach 400lbs? World record fat lady!? I couldn’t shake the idea and I started to cry.

There were some women that talked to me at the break and they really helped me to feel better.

The next teaching was from Martin Zender. He taught that the first three verbs in Genesis set the pattern for all things. The first one is Created. God Created the earth and it was very good. The next one is became. The earth became without form and void. Yes, I know that some people try to say that Satan came down and ruined it. I say, scriptures don’t say that – that is just a tradition. Since the potter is the one who mars the clay – most likely it was God that caused it to be without form and void. The third verb was moved. (Actually Martin called it vibrated instead of moved, which was very intriguing to me.) God moved and made it a better earth. Martin taught that it was the pattern throughout. Joseph gets the vision of ruling over his brothers – then he gets sold into slavery, wrongly accused of rape, spent some time in prison etc. then finally raised up. Abraham, Moses, Jesus, us. It is the same in any story written. First the introduction of characters – then horrible stuff happens to them – then they overcome in the end.

Then Clyde taught on our freedom in Christ. Our liberty! He talked about how Paul talked on two specific subjects to re-iterate our freedom; eating and respect of a holy day. As children of God – we have been given freedom from ALL bondage by Christ. He used an example of a city dog on a chain always straining to be loosed and when he finally gets free he runs all over the place. But a country dog – you can’t get him off the porch – he has the freedom to go where ever he wants but he just hangs around in one spot. It is the bondage that makes us do the things we would not do. The minute you say, don’t think about monkeys – that is all you can think of.

Ironically in Romans 14 – he that is STRONG in “the faith” (that faith that we have been freed from all bondage) believes he can eat ALL things – but he that is weak in the faith – eats salads. Oh. My. God. Really? Was it really that simple? I realized that being Fat was bondage – but the world’s solution to being fat – dieting and exercise – was ALSO bondage. But I am made free by Jesus Christ. So like anything else – I must put it in the Lord’s hands.

Just like when the Lord told me to quit my job (have no income) and learn to trust that He would meet all my needs – the Lord is telling me to stop dieting and let Him be in charge of my body – Trust Him to deliver me on whether I will lose weight or not because the Lord LOVES a good paradox. He that loses his life shall find it and he who eats shall become skinny. Nothing is impossible with God.

Lots of love

Linda

A few things

I am having a good time in Colorado Springs. I will post more on that later. For now - here is a great video to ponder.

First Person Shooter

photo credit

In preparation of the coming Zombie Apocalypse, it is important that I know how to move and how to see my surroundings – especially behind me. Having never held an X-box controller before I found the task more daunting than I would have thought. My friend assured me that it takes some getting used to. “It is all about finesse,” he said, “keep your thumbs on these two buttons at all times. The left one moves your legs and the right one lets you look around.” We were eating pizza and having fun. It was a nice distraction from real life for just a moment. Because in truth, there are worse things than zombies.

My refusal to jump into the middle of a tug of war over a little girl has had far reaching ramifications. Before this week, even long before I came to Wyoming, the Lord told me to stay out of this thing. All along I have told both parties that I would not be on either side, but as emotions run high and this thing is beginning to come to a crescendo – they each want me to come in on their side and choose – who would be the better parent. So then one party decides to lie, alleging that I said, so and so, and the other party wants me to call the lawyer and dispute it. But I know, once I talk to a lawyer for whatever reason – then I’m involved and someone is going to get hurt. There are those that think that family loyalty dictates I should hurt the other party, but I need to obey God, rather than man.

Unfortunately for me, my refusal to take part was seen by the 2nd party as an automatic support for the first. Thus began the name calling and the guilt and shaming tactics. People who said over and over how much they love me, turned on a dime to now hate me. Even my aunt here in Wyoming, who really should have stayed out of it – entered the dispute against me. When I reminded her that this was the spirit of God in me telling me to stay out – she replied, “I don’t believe it is the spirit of God – I think it is just Linda.” That hurt.

But the Lord is my shield and buckler. He wrapped my heart in bubble wrap and all the name calling and fiery darts were not allowed to penetrate. He protected me from the devastation and hurt that this kind of situation would once have caused me. I also thanked him for the education. These people only loved me conditionally, only if I bend to their will – and in the long run, it is better to know.

So I prayed for these people, saying, “Lord, forgive them because they know not what they do.”

Good luck to those of you who are out there, where shooting zombies is a better alternative than what is going on in your life. Good hunting.

love and zombies,

Linda