Gravity - How I love this song...

The Will of the Father

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I’ve been renting a car on payday. There is an Enterprise Rent-a-car within walking distance from my house and for only $9.99 a day I can rent a car from Friday – Monday. It sounded like a really good solution to my lack of car dilemma until I realized I needed to pay an additional $21 per day if I wanted to be insured.

To finally drive a car after so many months of being driven around by others was a breath of fresh air. I could drive to the FireRock – best restaurant in town – and have some lunch. I could drive to Kohl’s and use my 20% off coupon and stop at a garage sale on the way. I could drive around the East side of town, where my aunt never goes, just to see what there is to see. But mostly, I could get out of the house, where the quiet was too loud and my loneliness was literally choking me.

This weekend – having a car was especially wonderful since I had an opportunity to meet some really amazing people outside of work and hang out with them. To my surprise I met someone who understands the spiritual journey I have been on to seek the Lord and His will for my life. Someone whose first reaction was grace and understanding instead of automatically thinking I was a nutcase. Being able to drive the rental made that possible.

Unfortunately, it also dawned on me this weekend that I could not afford to continue to rent a car every other weekend and still be able to save up for a car. With a sinking feeling, I began to understand that this was going to be my last weekend to rent a car for a while. It was becoming a need for me to have a car – for sanity purposes – and I was just going to have to knuckle down and save up for one.

That afternoon as us girls were sitting in my aunt’s livingroom, my cousins were trying to give their solutions. My one cousin said, “There is a really cute white car near my house that is for sale.” I said, “How much?” she said, “I don’t know but it is really cute.” My other cousin said, “Maybe you should just get a new car already” I answered, “I’m not going to buy a new car and make $250 to $550 a month payments.” My aunt then says, “you could lease?!” I sigh. Then later my aunt says again, “don’t forget to pray about God’s will for leasing..”

I finally said, “Look, thanks for all the ideas, but lots of times the Lord has brought vehicles to me for free, or at least for me to buy outright without monthly payments. I don’t think it is the Lord’s will for me to have a car right now, because if it IS His will for me to have a car – a car will present itself.” At that moment – that is what I truly believed, that if the Lord wanted me to have a car – then He would bring me a car – simple as that.

Strangely when I came home last night, I was really tired and did not feel so bad being home by myself. My social life was beginning to look up with my new friends and I had this peaceful feeling. God is in control and He is going to take care of all my needs. I turned on my computer to check my email before I was going to go to bed early.

The phone rang. It was a man’s voice. “This is Stephen” he said. It was my cousin Stephen who NEVER calls me. He lives here in town. “Hello Stephen,” I said. “What can I do for you?”

He said, “I would like to give you my little silver car.” I was shocked, “Well, let me give you some money for it.”

He said, “No, it needs new tags and a tune-up so you can use your money to get those things. But it is running and it’s a good little car, I’m just going to get a new car and would like to give you this one.” I thanked him and we talked a little more and then we hung up. He has a couple things he wants to do on it and then he will bring it to my house later on this week.

I guess it IS God’s will for me to have a car after all. Thank you Lord!

God is good my friends! Lots of love!

Linda

Where there be giants

(I'd like to say that I really hate the new blogger. It is not user friendly!)

I have now had some time to dip my toe back into the world to see what is still a sin and what is not. And then there is the verse that states; Happy is the man who doesn’t condemn himself in the things he allows (Rom 14:22). Certain categories I am not really tempted in. I’m not tempted about money. All the things I have reacquired since being here, I would give up in a heartbeat if that was the will of the Father. I have lived in the wilderness, trusting the Father for my daily bread and my bills being paid. My aunt reminds me when I bring it up, that I have learned the lessons of the wilderness – but now the Lord wants me to learn other lessons.

When the children of Israel first came to the Promised Land – with the exception of Joshua and Caleb – they all cried and were terrified at the giants that occupied the land. It was so bad in fact and their fear was so infectious that they all had to wander around in the wilderness for an additional 40 years until all those fearful and those that stirred up fear in others died out. It took 40 years for the group as a whole to get to the place where they were ready to take on the giants.

The Lord is beginning to show me the giants I have in my land. I have tried to deny their existence even though there were flashes of them throughout my wilderness walk. Have you ever watched the movie Fight Club? If you’ve watched it more than once, you begin to see that there were flashes of Tyler Durton even at the very beginning – but you were a little caught off guard and not quite sure if you really saw something. The flashes of my giants were a little more pronounced than that, but I wrote it off as a one-time thing (that kept happening again and again of course.)

In the book of Revelation there is a place where the beast that rises out of the sea has power over the SAINTS and is able to overcome them. Paul had his thorn in the flesh (not his soul or his spirit but in his flesh.) Some say Paul’s thorn in the flesh was the fact that he was going blind, or the thorn in the flesh was people (as in the messengers of Satan), but I say, the scriptures don’t really nail that detail down completely so we don’t really know for sure what it was that Paul sought the Lord three times to be delivered from. I’m sure to Paul it was a giant.

But the interesting thing is – David did not beat the giant Goliath in his own strength. He beat Goliath because he was fighting in the name of the Lord and it was the Lord who delivered Goliath into David’s hand.

Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied.
This day will the LORD deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel.
And all this assembly shall know that the LORD saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the LORD'S, and he will give you into our hands. 1 Sam 17:45-47

The battle is the Lords. It is not ours. 2 Chronicles 20 is another good example. The Lord fights these battles and He and He alone is in charge of removing the giants out of the land. Our part is to seek the Lord in the fight and not to compromise. Sometimes that is the hardest part of all, because compromising with our personal giants because we think they are too big to be overcome seems like the only choice. They are too big for us, but not too big for God. Nothing is impossible with God.

Lots of love and giant-fighting

Linda

All my secret sins...

You will really hate me when I tell you what I have been doing lately. I've been catching up on watching all the Harry Potter movies I denied myself the last couple years due to the fact that Harry Potter is of the debil. I'm watching the Deathly Hallows part 1 and as soon as I can - possibly ppv this weekend, I will watch the Deathly Hallows part 2. I already read all the books - and loved them AND let my kids read them, so I believe the damage has already been done at some level. I'd do it all again, because I feel no guilt about it whatsoever. It may actually be the only books my son has ever read because he hates to read.

lots of love my friends!
Linda

These aren't the droids you are looking for...

I'm sorry to continue with the Jedi speak but I can't really say what I really want to say. Everything is doubleplus ungood - and those of you who know what I am talking about will understand.

I wanted to have the title of this post be: I am the house of God. which is true - whether my feelings line up with the truth or not.

here are some amazing posts I have read today - when I wasnt' amazed at the position I am in, that I can't say of course:

http://makeitmad.com/2012/04/11/dear-me-and-you-and-you-and-you-were-all-screwed-forever-and-ever-amen/#more-2146

I wish I really knew this guy personally. He is saying what I wish I had the words to say.

also:

http://www.biblestudentsnotebook.com/bsn262.pdf

God is in control - and everything you are going through - is what you need to go through, even if you do not understand. Trust in the Lord.

lots of love my friends - I wish I knew enough to explain it to you, but the holy spirit will have to explain it to you - cuz i don't know

Linda

My Need for a Jedi Master

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My mother was released from the hospital on Monday and is recovering well. It was very good that I was here to help her as she re-acclimates to life after surgery.

Tonight my sister and I spent the evening together catching up on old times and shopping. Now that the worst is over and we know that my mom is going to be all right, everyone wants to visit with me before I go home to Wyoming.

My sister and I went to Goodwill and I was in the book section looking for low-carb cookbooks. I was walking past the religious section and decided to see what was there - just in case something piqued my interest. I found a book with the name, "Christian Wisdom of the Jedi Masters" by Dick Staub. At first I laughed at the concept, but as I looked through the pages, I thought to myself - (in an almost guilty, if you were still a legalist you would think this book was blasphemy, sort of way,) I'm going to buy this book.

I started to read it when I got home and I am amazed at the sound spiritual truths presented in the book. If you get a chance to read this book, I highly recommend it - or at least the first 31 pages because that is as far as I have gotten. It inspires me to get back to the spiritual journey, to know that where I am - even now - is where God wants me to be - but to be the best Jedi I can be in those circumstances. As in, "Do. Or do not. There is no try."

I already know that where I am, is where the Lord wants me to be because that has been proven time and again. But now I understand that I need to embrace it - that in whatever circumstance I happen to be - I know how to abase and I know how to abound. Shall I argue with God if he wants me to have a high-paying corporate job? We are so use to the idea that we all need to be in poverty to be spiritual - we forget that Abraham and Jacob and Job were all wealthy men. I have been in poverty - and now the Lord has given me back all the things I was willing to give up in order to seek Him.

The true point is - the seeking of the Lord never ends. His ways are past finding out but that does not mean that we give up on seeking Him. Obi-Wan did not stop being a Jedi Master just because he spent all those years staying in the desert. I may not have blog posts every day with great spiritual insight, but that is because I have real relationships outside of the computer where I am living the spiritual truths I learned on my wilderness journey.

The children of Isreal were first in Egypt, then in the wilderness, then in the Promised land and then carried away into Babylon. When they were in Babylon, the Lord said, "build houses and plant vineyards and get married" etc. Every one of those seasons had a purpose, and those things were written for our learning. The different seasons in our lives, the different circumstances we find ourselves in - all serve a purpose. All things work together for good.

Even so. I really could use a Yoda. A Jedi Master who will make sure that I understand the spiritual truths that I need to understand. Speaking of which - there is a spiritual weekend coming up - with the Jedi Masters of my generation. I am hoping and praying that I can go to the upcoming Scripture Conference:

Grace and peace!This year's Sacramento Scripture Conference is August 3rd, 4th & 5th.

Location:Holiday Inn Express
2224 Auburn Blvd
Sacramento, CA 95821 www.hiexpress.com/sacramentone
Enter group code "SSC" for a discounted hotel room.

Speakers: Dan Sheridan, Martin Zender, Clyde Pilkington, and Tony Nungesser

Friday night, August 3rd: There will be a dinner at the home of Charles Rutsch.
The address is:
6737 Steele Oak Ln,
Carmichael, CA 95608.
Phone number is (916) 515-9355.
Email: CharlesRutsch@gmail.com
This is open to all who wish to attend.
Saturday, August 4th: The conference begins in the hotel at 9am and ends at 9pm with breaks for lunch and dinner.

Sunday, August 5th: The conference resumes at 9am and ends at 6pm.

Do you have any questions about the Bible? There will be time to address your questions to the speakers. You can email your questions to CharlesRutsch@gmail.com or ask your questions at the conference.
Conference Themes: The speakers have been asked to prepare one talk on each of these two themes:

1) Jesus Christ-Who is He? His purpose, relation to His Father and to us, etc.

2) Prophecy- What is our hope and expectation? What will happen in the future on earth and in heaven?

If you have any questions you can contact Charles Rutsch at (916) 515-9355.
Email CharlesRutsch@gmail.com
Or you can contact Darron Haworth at (916) 215-6071.
Email: darron.haworth@gmail.com

Hope you can attend.

Blessings,

Kelly Stokoe
Starke & Hartmann, Inc.

Please pray that I can go - but if I can't maybe you can.

Lots of love my friends - and may the Force be with you!
Linda

Home for Easter

It's been a hell of a week.

Monday, my mother had a heart attack, something she had never experienced before.

Tuesday she called me at work from the ICU to tell me. I said, "should I come home?" but she assured me that she did not think I needed to. A couple hours later I called my father on his cell phone. He told me that she was 99% blocked on one side of her heart and 79% blocked on the other, they were going to need to do bypass surgery. I went in to tell one of my bosses about that and I said, "I think I need to go home." She said, "I think you do too."

God is faithful. I had just recieved $1300 in tax money the week before. My car money. See why I do not believe that it is the Lord's will I have a car? All the times I tried to go see Johnny and all the doors were shut tight. All of a sudden all the doors were open and when I went to buy a plane ticket - I got one for the next day at only half the price that it could have been. All 3 of my bosses were very supportive of me going home to be with my parents and they all asked if I needed anything - including money. They all said they would pray for my mom. Even my one bosses husband offered to take me to the airport the next morning.

Wednesday, I packed and cleaned my house before going to the airport at 5am. The flight was ok for the most part - and excuse me for a moment while I vent, but I was on the aisle seat and one of the stewardess' had a HUGE butt that was constantly rubbing against my arm as she walked down the aisle - which was often. I was all cramped and stressed out by the time I got to Portland. My sister picked me up from the airport and we drove straight to the hospital. When we got there, they had just taken my mom into surgery - so it was going to be 4 or 5 hours before she would be out. All of my sisters were there, and many of my aunts and uncles. My son also managed to come down. The surgery was a huge success. The surgeon came out to tell us that he did a triple bypass and would have done a 4th but the vein was too small for it. He said that everything went really well and mom was doing great. After a while, dad and I were able to go see her. She was still on the ventalator so we did not stay long. They took her off the ventalator later that night.

Thursday & Friday. Mom was getting better and better every time we saw her. She was very happy that my son and I were here, although in a lot of ways, I think we are more here for my father's sake. Then he does not have to come home to an empty house during this time. My mom is doing really well. She is even laughing and joking around a little. They are waiting for a bed and then she will be out of the ICU.

I don't have time to post more. My mom is doing exceptionally well and the worst is over. Will try to post an update soon.

lots of love
Linda