Wish you were here...

I am sitting on the couch in my pajamas in my parents living room. It is almost like my life in Wyoming was just a dream I had last night. No matter how much time I am away - it always feels like home when I come here.

I flew into Portland International Airport early morning Saturday and my father picked me up at the airport. It was raining - which made me laugh. Some things can always be counted on.

Saturday was spent shopping with my sisters and of course: Sushi.

Yum! Oh yes - now that is how sushi is supposed to taste. After this we went to Washington Square mall. We got a lot of shopping done but boy was there a TON of people there - I thing the correct word was THRONG! I can't remember the last time I saw so many people. We had a good time.

This morning my father found a monster crossword puzzle but we think that if we work together we can fill it all in. Just like old times.

Already the time is flying by. The trip will be over before I know it. I will savor the moment.

Lots of love my friends!
Linda

Macaroni Jesus

Photo credit

I try to be all things to all men. I tend to fail miserably in that endeavor quite often. I think that if beer had been around in Jesus’ day he would have been a beer drinker. Jesus was not pretentious – and wine was the only thing to drink in those days. But I can just imagine that he would have been drinking beer with all those publicans and such.  

I went out for a beer recently with a girl from work that I really like. She is an RN and originally from Canada, and I know that she is not a Christian. It’s not that she is an atheist or anything like that. She just doesn’t know anything about God. She told me that her family growing up never went to church, never prayed or anything. She said that the only thing she remembers from her childhood about God was when a friend invited her to vacation bible school and they glued pieces of macaroni onto construction paper in the form of Jesus’ face. That was the closest thing she had to a religious education. The only other experience she had was when her son wanted to start going to church and his friend’s mom called my friend to berate her on her lack of spiritual direction for her son. I can’t remember the exact words the woman used but I was horrified when I heard it. It was hateful. My friend told the woman that her son could make up his own mind, but it certainly did not grow any desire to know God in my friend. Why would it – when God is then portrayed as this angry hateful kid’s mom. 

Phillip said to Jesus, “Show us the father.” Jesus answered and said, “He who has seen me has seen the Father”. John 14. As sons of God we are the only way people can see the Father. I want people to know and understand the truth – but it is not up to me. I can plant or I can water but only God can give the increase. There are those that have no love of the truth – first they will trample on it and then they will turn and rend you. I read an amazing blog post lately that really put my mind at ease in this category:

Clay in the Potters Hand

The Lord will draw all men to himself and will save all – each in his own order – and it has nothing to do with me – the Lord will accomplish it in His timing and not a second before that.

Here is another blog post that I really enjoyed:

The Amish and French – so robbed of truth 

 

Lots of love my friends!

Linda

A Man Without Minutes

I have to say - the whole dating game can be so disappointing. I met a guy that I really liked and we talked for four hours on Friday night and everything seemed great with tentative plans to get together with our bibles and his agnostic friend and find out once and for all if there is a Hell or not. Then, he blew me off and did not return my emails - which was so very brother in Christ of him. So when I realized that I had been blown off - I was having a conversation with the Lord. Why have the guy call me in the first place Lord? What was the point of that - so I can once again experience rejection? How long Lord, before the right guy comes along?

Of course, I was having this conversation with the Lord at my desk at work and the "getting my hopes up once again just to have them come crashing down hard" was sort of spilling out with tears of frustration. A girl I work with caught me crying at my desk and asked me what was wrong.

"Nothing" I said, quickly trying to erase the evidence with a kleenix.

"Liar! tell me!" she said as she stood at my desk.

I told her about talking to this guy and how I thought it was a great conversation and I liked him for a while before he called me and now he was blowing me off and that it actually hurt and how if he hadn't called me in the first place I would have been fine. "I mean - I thought we had this great conversation. It was four hours! He ran out of minutes twice."

"see Linda," she said, "There is your problem. There are plenty of men out there - good men - who never run out of minutes."

I laughed. It was so what I needed to hear at that moment. She gave me a hug and went on her way. A man without minutes - yes that is what I need!

Lots of love my friends!
Linda

Thankful

I have a lot of things going on in my life right now that I am thankful for, but nothing I can really blog about. As with all of life, I have good things going on and bad things going on and a good day is when the good things outweigh the bad. But I also understand to be thankful for the bad and the trials in life because that is where we grow. I am making new friends and fairly content with where my life is – and those things that I am tempted not to be content with – I give to the Lord and pray that he will make me content. Thanksgiving is this week and I will be spending it here with my aunt and cousins and then I will be going to Oregon for the week of Christmas. I am looking forward to seeing my family but especially eating some decent sushi because I’ll tell you – the sushi sucks here in Casper Wyoming. Yet, maybe even that is a good thing since it would be that much harder to diet if I had decent sushi available. I’ve lost 23 pounds so far and looking forward to getting down to my goal weight, although I’m giving myself a little bit of a break through the holidays.

May the Lord bless you through the holidays!

Love in Christ

Linda

Doug

My next door neighbor's name is Doug. The house he lives in actually belongs to his sister and he is basically the caretaker. Johnny and Doug became fast friends while Johnny was here and they drove around in my van. A lot of people think that Doug is black - but he's not - he just has a really dark tan from working outside all the time. Doug is a major alcoholic and one day when I came home from work for lunch - I found him passed out on his front lawn. I tried to get him to get up and get out of the sun but he wouldn't. I ended up calling 911 because I was concerned he was going to get sunstroke. I don't think he has really forgiven me for that.

On Sunday when I came home from the store he said that he had something for me. I waited as he went back inside to get it. He came out with a jar filled with mystery contents. I asked if it was spaghetti sauce but he said that it was chili. He said that he made too much but that he used vegetable juice instead of tomato juice in his recipe and that it was a little tangy. I thanked him for thinking of me and went inside. I'm on a diet so I can't really eat chili and I was trying to think who I could give this chili to.

Today when I came home from work I found a note on my front door. It said:

"Linda,
Don't eat the chili - I've been up sick all night
                                  Doug"

that was really sweet.

Lots of love
Linda

The accuser

It's been an incredibly difficult couple of weeks. I have been accused of several things at my job that just aren't true, like making too many personal phone calls and other non-provable lies. Luckily my one boss that really loves me and appreciates me knows they are all lies. I've had a series of attacks happen, not only in the personal realm, but it seems like attacks are coming from every side. I had a problem with the ATM at work, it wouldn't give me any money but then it took the money out of my account so I had to call the bank and fill out a bunch of paperwork for them to investigate. Friday was the culmination of two weeks worth of ever increasing shit and I told the girl that I share an office with that I felt I was on the verge of a nervous break-down since I didn't believe I could continue to remain calm in the midst of all I had to deal with.

I went into the bathroom to re-group and pray. Lord, really? Is it just going to keep getting worse and worse? When will I reap the good things if I faint not, because I really want to faint. But I don't faint. I keep going. I trust. I trust the Lord is going to really deliver on the promises He has promised me.

I'm walking home and on the way home I find this little charm. It just says Believe. I guess that bottom line - trust is believing that what the Lord has promised - He is able to deliver. Sometimes I just say, "Lord, thy will be done." and call it good.

I am so lonely and tired. I'm tired of always being accused and tired of always being alone. I have some people who read this blog because they love me and some people who read this blog are just looking for something in order to accuse me and condemn me. Oh yeah - you know who you are. Do you really think your accusations of me are from the Lord? Maybe you should do a check-up from the neck up.

Yet, my job is giving me the perfect opportunity to face my accusers. To know that what they are accusing me of is false. I have had to stand up for what the Lord has shown me and stand up for what I know is right and have had to lose many friends and relatives along the way. And I'd do it all again if I had to. I would rather do what the Lord wants and have everyone in this world hate me than to compromise one principle or one truth.

Tomorrow is Monday. The start of another week and frankly, I really wish I did not have to go and deal with more accusations and more stress. But this is where the Lord has placed me to learn the lessons He wants me to learn and to wait for the promises He has made for me. He will give me the strength to face the day.

Lots of Love

Linda

silence

And then he was gone.

It is the first time I have had the house to myself in two months. I wrote in my journal for the first time since August 28. I got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor. I worked on my homework while I listened to the Martin Zender/Dan Sheridan show. I made my lunch and ate it and made my lunch to take to work tomorrow. I made the bed in the bedroom and made the bed again in the living room. I've grown accustomed to it being there and I don't yet have the heart to take it down. I swept. I dusted. I vacuumed. (okay I may have lied about dusting.) I washed the dishes and then watched as the water swirled down the drain. I forgot a pan so I filled the sink again and washed it. I took a nap all curled up with my hoodie on. I cried a little.

But I know it was the right thing to do. There is more to the story than I am posting - there always is. But I know the Lord is in the little details as well as the big ones and He is in control of my life. I am reminded of the verse the Lord gave me when I first came to Wyoming. Jer 29:11:

"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

There is a card tacked up on my wall that says "Our God is a God of hope and we know that nothing is impossible to Him."

Thank you Lord.

lots of love
Linda