I have a disability.
Well, maybe not a disability per se.
Let's just say that I have a huge motivational problem when it comes
to cleaning and can literally waste all day on the computer and
accomplish nothing. To compensate for my, er, disability, I have come
up with an excellent system that requires a kitchen timer. I call it
15/15. 15 minutes of cleaning, 15 minutes of computer time. At the
end of the day, I know what is going on in the world (such that it
is) and my drudgery chores are done.
I usually have two working timers at
all times. Yesterday, shortly after I got home from the store, my
good kitchen timer broke. I would turn the dial and it would snap
back to zero and go off. I think it was the spring or something. So I
had to throw it away and get the spare timer out of the drawer. The
spare timer, unfortunately, never really worked very well although it
cost me 15 dollars at the time. But, having just come from the store,
it wasn't worth it to drive all the way back just for a timer.
(Although as I write this, I'm not so sure.)
I wanted to get my chores done in the
bedroom first since it is the hottest room in the house and I have to
work in there in the morning before it becomes an oven. My goal is to
get rid of everything that I've been hanging onto that I don't really
use or need and also has no purpose in a post apocalyptic scenario. I
also needed to repack the bug out bag. I don't know who keeps packing
the bug out bag but they are an idiot. I could barely lift it and
unless I'm planning on doing surgery on someone, completely
impractical.
So I was bustling along, going from the
computer to the bedroom carrying the timer with me and I got a lot
done. I brought three garbage bags full of stuff out of there and it
was starting to get too hot. I was at a good stopping place anyway
and went to grab the timer and go back out to the kitchen. But the
timer wasn't there. I went back over things and could not find it
anywhere. I couldn't believe that somehow or other I lost the stupid
timer. I was actually having a good day up until that point. But now,
I was timerless. Not sure if I can even function properly without it.
My husband is a culinary genius and
used to do all the cooking, which worked out well since I enjoy
washing the dishes. But then he got sick and for the last 3 years, I
have taken over the cooking because he is no longer able. Luckily,
sometimes he likes simple things like fish sticks and steak fries for
lunch. We have perfected the timing of it. Put the fish sticks in for
10 minutes, flip them, then add the fries for another 20 minutes.
Nice and easy.
So when my husband requested fish
sticks and fries for lunch I was happy to comply. I stood up, then
said, “Shit!”
“What?” my husband asked.
“I don't have a timer!”
Now, my husband is usually a very wise
man and we will be married for 10 years in July. While my head was in
the freezer, digging out fish, he had a momentary lapse in
situational awareness and started to say something foolish.
“Well, when I was doing the cooking,
I would...” he started and didn't have a chance to finish because
my head came out of the freezer so fast that his eyes got wide and he
closed his mouth and turned back to the tv.
I could have been a good wife,
appreciating how my husband was so wise that he did not finish that
statement, but, I kindof suck. I did thank him for not finishing that
sentence and left it at that. Although I may have used the term “Holy
Hell” somewhere in my response. I'm not saying.
Now, my husband is fed, had some ice
cream and is napping and I'm trying to decide if I want to make a
special trip into town for a timer. Haven't decided yet.
Hope everyone is doing well, staying
cool and checking the practicality of their bug out bags.
Take care out there.