Wise Men and Kitchen Timers

I have a disability.

Well, maybe not a disability per se. Let's just say that I have a huge motivational problem when it comes to cleaning and can literally waste all day on the computer and accomplish nothing. To compensate for my, er, disability, I have come up with an excellent system that requires a kitchen timer. I call it 15/15. 15 minutes of cleaning, 15 minutes of computer time. At the end of the day, I know what is going on in the world (such that it is) and my drudgery chores are done.

I usually have two working timers at all times. Yesterday, shortly after I got home from the store, my good kitchen timer broke. I would turn the dial and it would snap back to zero and go off. I think it was the spring or something. So I had to throw it away and get the spare timer out of the drawer. The spare timer, unfortunately, never really worked very well although it cost me 15 dollars at the time. But, having just come from the store, it wasn't worth it to drive all the way back just for a timer. (Although as I write this, I'm not so sure.)

I wanted to get my chores done in the bedroom first since it is the hottest room in the house and I have to work in there in the morning before it becomes an oven. My goal is to get rid of everything that I've been hanging onto that I don't really use or need and also has no purpose in a post apocalyptic scenario. I also needed to repack the bug out bag. I don't know who keeps packing the bug out bag but they are an idiot. I could barely lift it and unless I'm planning on doing surgery on someone, completely impractical.

So I was bustling along, going from the computer to the bedroom carrying the timer with me and I got a lot done. I brought three garbage bags full of stuff out of there and it was starting to get too hot. I was at a good stopping place anyway and went to grab the timer and go back out to the kitchen. But the timer wasn't there. I went back over things and could not find it anywhere. I couldn't believe that somehow or other I lost the stupid timer. I was actually having a good day up until that point. But now, I was timerless. Not sure if I can even function properly without it.

My husband is a culinary genius and used to do all the cooking, which worked out well since I enjoy washing the dishes. But then he got sick and for the last 3 years, I have taken over the cooking because he is no longer able. Luckily, sometimes he likes simple things like fish sticks and steak fries for lunch. We have perfected the timing of it. Put the fish sticks in for 10 minutes, flip them, then add the fries for another 20 minutes. Nice and easy.

So when my husband requested fish sticks and fries for lunch I was happy to comply. I stood up, then said, “Shit!”

“What?” my husband asked.

“I don't have a timer!”

Now, my husband is usually a very wise man and we will be married for 10 years in July. While my head was in the freezer, digging out fish, he had a momentary lapse in situational awareness and started to say something foolish.

“Well, when I was doing the cooking, I would...” he started and didn't have a chance to finish because my head came out of the freezer so fast that his eyes got wide and he closed his mouth and turned back to the tv.

I could have been a good wife, appreciating how my husband was so wise that he did not finish that statement, but, I kindof suck. I did thank him for not finishing that sentence and left it at that. Although I may have used the term “Holy Hell” somewhere in my response. I'm not saying.

Now, my husband is fed, had some ice cream and is napping and I'm trying to decide if I want to make a special trip into town for a timer. Haven't decided yet.

Hope everyone is doing well, staying cool and checking the practicality of their bug out bags.

Take care out there.