Goodbye Fat Dog

I thought I was going to need a couple days off after the dog passed away, yet I feel I need to talk about it. Well, I do and I don't. I feel numb. I've cried but mainly I just notice her absence. She was always underfoot. A 65 pound beagle in an RV doesn't have that many places she can go to get out of the way.

I wasn't ready for another animal after our beloved chihuahua Jo-Jo died several years ago. But my husband said he didn't think he could live without a dog. We ended up getting the dog from a co-worker who was looking to re-home her. Shortly after we brought her home I understood why the co-worker wanted to get rid of her.

She was NOT a good dog.

She was at least eight years old and possibly older than that. She was not potty-trained at all. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Well, you can, it just takes a lot of effort and a lot of time. It took a year before that dog finally stopped pooping and peeing in the house. She chewed everything in sight. I was not happy. I kinda hated her.

What was worse is she set about DAY ONE to establish herself as the alpha female. She wouldn't listen or obey me at all and would look at my husband as if to ask if she had to do what I said. When I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, she would be in my spot. It literally got so bad that I started sleeping on the couch. Fine. Take the bed. Bitch.

My husband thought it was funny. Like we were fighting over him. I failed to see the humor in it. After that, the dog and I pretty much ignored each other.

Then we moved to Kansas and my husband got sick. He could no longer care for the dog. I took her for her walks in the morning before work and then in the evening. I resented her. Just one more responsibility.

Then something strange happened. I started to warm up to her. I looked forward to our walks, where I could get out into the sunshine and the wind and get away from the computer. She started to warm up to me too. She would sit next to me and wait for me to turn off the work computer and pull out my laptop. She was looking forward to our walks as much as I was. In a totally unplanned twist of irony, she stopped being my husband's dog and started being mine. I actually laughed out loud when he called to her and she wouldn't come and she looked at me to see if she had to obey him.

The Lord always gives me a heads up when bad things are going to happen in my life so I am not blind sided.

For the last couple months, the dog wasn't walking the whole circuit. I was beginning to worry about her. She started cutting through the field when she was done with her business. The walks got shorter and shorter until she eventually only wanted to go out into our yard. She was having a very hard time getting up and down the stairs and getting up off her hind legs. I knew that it was just a matter of time.

Then, suddenly, she was gone.

It's just not the same around here. Like an emptiness. I will miss her.