The Ninja Variant

 

Although normally lurking in the shadows, blending into the background, the ninja variant has recently been spotted in your local neighborhood by top scientists and lab coat wearing experts. Because of its great stealth and ability to evade all attempts to isolate it, the ninja variant could be behind every tree, bush or blade of grass. It is suggested that you stay home, alone, cowering in fear, and not outside enjoying the sun where the ninja variant can jump out and get you. It is also recommended that you wear your mask because the ninja variant is masked up as well.

In the on-going war against SARS-CV2, the ninja variant is the only variant that carries its own razor sharp katana. It slices and dices it's way through your immune system leaving no symptoms in its wake. Although we are using the same, lame PCR test as before, we know it is the ninja variant because we just told you it was. And we should know, we are getting paid big bucks from the pharmaceutical companies to tell you that.

So come on down to the local Krispie Kreme for your booster – proven safe and effective many times over – and we will throw in a free slimy donut for your troubles. Because the ninja variant is everywhere – and nowhere. You just never know.

(This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by Pfizer – who now own just about everything and have been voted most despicable corporation 3 years in a row. Our motto is – whatever health you may have left – we will take it. The sicker you are the more money we make. Mwa hahaha)